Stories, Success & Stuff
Watch episodes at https://www.siarza.com/siarza-podcast
A Siarza Production
Hosted by Kristelle Siarza & Jace Downey
Executive Producer: Kristelle Siarza
Producer: Jace Downey
Videographer/Editor: Justin Otsuka
Stories, Success & Stuff
Episode 14: Check Yo Self Before You Wreck Yo Self
Ready to align your relationship with ego for success? Kristelle and Jace are here to strip back the layers, debunk the myths, and get real about the role ego plays in our professional lives. Join us as we delve into an unfiltered conversation that brings to light the subtle distinction between ego and confidence, and why society often gets it wrong.
As we navigate the entrepreneurial journey, we're confronted with both success and failure. How much does our ego influence these experiences? Let's dissect this complex relationship, examining how our ego can potentially become toxic when it causes us to drift away from our core values. Yet, on the flip side, a healthy ego can be our driving force – it's about celebrating our victories and embracing our setbacks with grace. We'll be sharing strategies on how you can confidently strut your stuff without stepping on others' toes.
But, where does humility fit in all of this? Can it coexist with ego? We believe so! In fact, we'll be discussing how a harmonious relationship between humility and ego is key to appreciating self-worth. More importantly, as business owners, how do we determine what we're worth? How do we balance our own financial needs with the well-being of our employees? It's a tricky area, but one we're not shying away from. Join us for this candid conversation as we strive to foster healthy relationships with our egos while building strong communities for success.
A Siarza Production
Hosted by Kristelle Siarza Moon & Jace Downey
Executive Producer: Kristelle Siarza Moon
Producer: Jace Downey
Video/Editing: Justin Otsuka
Watch episodes at siarza.com/siarza-podcast
Follow us on FB, IG, TT, YT and TW @siarzatheagency
Follow Kristelle @kristellesiarza
www.misskristelle.com
Follow Jace @jacedowneyofficial
www.jacedowney.com
So we're not talking passenger, we're actually saying the same thing with different words.
Speaker 2:You're very positive right now. Me I'm like fluck that.
Speaker 1:No, no, not the egos.
Speaker 2:Got me, crystal. You go host Jace. That's me, uh, exploring a very funny topic for today. Ego, hmm, um, and it's contributions or demise of success, depending on who you talk to. Uh, where do we feel about? Where do we feel about ego in business? Is ego or is it confidence?
Speaker 1:So I was going to say let's start with actually talking about what ego is. Okay, we have a lot of misunderstandings around ego and it's gotten a pretty bad rap as well. Um, so how do you, when you think ego comes to mind straight away, I say? I say confidence.
Speaker 2:Somebody says ego, okay, right, and what does that actually mean? So I think ego is a bubble. I think ego is a bubble. That might be a very small bubble or very large bubble in somebody's head, but once somebody comes into the bubble it can pop. And I think confidence is an identity, uh, no, a piece of identity or a feeling of identity. Like you feel confident about how you look, you feel confident about your makeup, you feel confident that's on the dance floor. Confidence is a feeling, a vibe, um, a state of mind, but I think ego can be unlike you. You're like oh, it's got a bad rap. I have problems with egos. I have a lot of problems with egos and I think it's because it has had a bad rap and I think that the people, I think you know there's. There's notorious words in the English language for a reason, and that definitely is a notorious word because of its affiliation to men and women Period.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, I just came out swinging. We just gonna go everywhere. We just gonna go everywhere this week. We came out swinging on that one.
Speaker 2:Um, and I think there's a lot to learn once that bubble is popped. I think that's a that's a very um, important thing to do. Like you talked about getting your ego in check. Yeah Right, when you say I have to get my ego in check, is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Speaker 1:Well, and so I'm gonna. I'm gonna like super simplify when we think ego. Ego is a Latin word, it means I, that's it Right, and we've turned it into, like you said, it's a notorious word, which is why we think about the Marvel character ego right.
Speaker 1:Because he's all about self serving, and so we think of someone self absorbed. They have a big ego. We hear that right. Or like oh, he's so, he's so egotistical, oh, she's got this huge ego with. Like it's this inflated sense of self, right, but in actuality the ego is just our personalized version of the human condition. Yeah, let's say like it's not the substance, it's the, it's the flavor, and it becomes a problem when we associate too much with the flavor and not enough with the substance. So ego is really just the self and our idea of self, which can indeed be a mixed perception that probably you're talking about, where it's an inaccurate view of self because it's not well rounded, often because we're out of integrity and I don't mean we're doing that negative things, yeah, I mean integrated, where we have a holistic tie of all of ourselves into one and we're holding that gray space, that uncertainty.
Speaker 2:That is the eye, that's very poetic, and I'm not giggling because I'm like, oh, that's hilarious. No, like that's very poetic, and I just I, I'm still stuck on what society's definition is and we've muddled it and we're muddling it in a whole new fun way, society's too.
Speaker 1:We like we're going in the other and we're pendulum learners, humans, so we go from here to over here and then eventually we kind of end up in some like happy middle ground, right? So we had this notion that began at some point. We have to have a historian come in where I'm like I don't know.
Speaker 2:I can pretend I know, but I don't know where we started.
Speaker 1:Focusing on the eye being a negative thing and women? You bring up men and women, women experiences in particular, where we're not supposed to put any focus on ourselves, then we're selfish. Right, you're supposed to be outwardly focused Just on the family, focusing on other people's needs. Somehow we're taught this growing up Like I. If I could get back the time and energy I've put into caring for my perception of other people's comfort and feelings, I would not be sitting across this table. I'd be ruling the world Like it's insane how much energy I put into caring for others because we have this notion that ego is negative, that anything to the self is selfish.
Speaker 2:Sure, but I think we're diverting away from I think you might be diverting away from my perception of now. It's just my perception, like just my perception of the word ego.
Speaker 1:Well, and that's what I'm getting to, so we had that and that was a negative thing. So, like, how did ego become a negative thing? Anything to do with I was seen as selfish and bad and that was supposed to be outward focused.
Speaker 1:And when you're selfless, then you're a good person If you focus on the self at all negative. So ego as a word became like a negative. You don't want to have an ego, you don't want to be associated with the ego, you don't want to be an egotistical person. And now we've pendulum swung over here where it's self love, self care. If you made plans but you don't want to go, cancel them last minute, take care of yourself. And it's about my truth, my perception, my everything, and I have every right to have everything that be my own and that that's now a positive thing. And we've swung over here on it now being healthy, and there is healthy selfishness, absolutely yeah. So now we're in this mix and this is a perfect topic to talk about success, because the ego is not negative, it's not positive, it just is. And we can, when we come into a positive, healthy relationship with our ego, which is our individualized version of self and our perception, which, the more we heal and grow, the more accurate perception our self is.
Speaker 1:Now. We're operating in the world with a nice harmony between I and you.
Speaker 2:So yes, to all of it. I've noticed that whenever we have these podcasts, we sometimes talk past each other and I'm trying to prevent that right now. I'm trying to really hard prevent that because I agree. But what about the person and the individual that focuses on themselves and themselves only? That, to me, drives me up the wall. I'm gonna pull Peter Griffin and talk about what grinds my gears. Right, if you haven't seen the Family Guy episode, highly recommend that you do.
Speaker 2:What grinds my gears is people that don't see the benefit of community, that do something because it's self-serving for them. I can understand. Serving the community is good for the heart and good for the soul. That's one thing. But if it's a what's in it for me, and me only, it's the type of situation that's very egotistical for me, not okay with it, and I think remember it too like if anybody wants to get into the business of public relations or marketing or advertising. Especially when you deal with individuals, sometimes it's about stroking the ego and then she gets really exhausting after a while. Girl, that's my dating life, that's one of those.
Speaker 1:Not anymore, not anymore. I was gonna say not anymore. Your gee chock is so good, yeah, yeah, yeah. So we're not talking past each other. We're actually saying the same thing with different words.
Speaker 2:You're very positive right now. Me I'm like fuck that. No, no, no, fuck the egos.
Speaker 1:Okay, and here's why I was that same space and I thought I could get rid of it. Like to like you, like conquer your ego, and there's something about getting away from it and that it's a bad thing. And I've come to learn. No, the things that make me fun, and like the specific you know, spice, that is Jace, is awesome and it's a wonderful addition to like the human ingredients in the world, and so I've spent a lot of time studying and learning about ego and coming into relationship with it.
Speaker 1:It's good, so we're both talking about the same thing, where there can be this imbalance, that, and we're kind of moving in that direction. Right now, it's like trending to kind of be more in that space, and it becomes toxic when we do lose touch with things like how we became, who we are, our community, our team, our values, when we step out of being an integrated person and we get caught in the bubble. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:No, I, you know, I've always struggled with having an ego to a certain degree, and what I mean by that is I always told myself the day that I stand myself and my character on a pedestal and I don't listen to anybody around me, that's the day that I should quit my job. I appreciate the humbling moments, as defeating as they may be. I appreciate the humbling moments because a family value of mine is work hard, stay humble and play hard. Conversation from the fun episode. But work hard, stay humble To me is you still have the ability to celebrate your success.
Speaker 2:You've got to. You've got to very healthy for you. You still have the ability to actually talk about what the things that you're proud of, you, the individual, are proud of, proud of myself, proud of my team, proud of my responsibilities, et cetera. But when mistakes happen, it's not well, it's their fault, it's owning and accepting and also defending when it's mine or yours or something of that light. I think I've ran into several characters in our professional lives, in my professional life, where I say where are the people around you, where are the people telling you you're wrong?
Speaker 1:Where are the?
Speaker 2:people that are telling you this is incorrect and this is not the best idea? Or what did you do with the people that were brave enough to tell you?
Speaker 1:And why did you let them go? Where are they buried? Where are they buried? What have you done with them? I was like, why are you giggling? I was like, oh, that's a good one. What have you done with them?
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, seriously. There are people, there are C-level executives, that eliminate workforces rather than embrace them and keep them on board and admit that they wanna let them go because they wanna do things their way. If you're confident in your skills and you have the level of expertise good for you, go for it. But again it goes back to don't push away the community. That's gonna build success for you. You gotta make sure that you're up there, but you have people up there with you.
Speaker 1:Yes, and checking things. Something that I love and is terrifying to me, an equal measure is we will never experience anything outside of ourselves. We can't. Even if you and I were to high five, we would not actually touch one another. The sensation would be, yeah, we never actually experience anything outside of ourselves. Us touching hands would just be my nerve endings having the sensation of touch. I will never actually touch your hand.
Speaker 1:We never move outside of ourselves, which is why the ego is so important, especially when we're talking about success having a healthy, accurate, as much as we can understanding of self, which is easiest to do when you have reflections around you by people that will call you out like you're saying right now. That's when we can actually be successful. But when we try to fight against self by getting rid of ego or protect our little bubble because we feel good in it, because we've built our identity in the little bubble, so we kill off anyone around us who tries to poke at it, Welcome to failure. Your life is not going to turn out the way you want it to do.
Speaker 2:I'm trying to think of people that have been in that particular position that I can be comfortable with talking about.
Speaker 1:Who is the least amount of resources for retaliation? Yeah, who's not going to sue me? Well, and you can probably talk quite generally, because we all have these people in our lives.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but Albuquerque is a small town, man. True, true true, you know, albuquerque is a small town, and so I'm trying to think of yeah, go. Do you think of I?
Speaker 1:sure do Myself. I remember an instance where I had my first business idea, which was actually a really good idea, and the name that I landed on for it was a terrible name and I was so caught up in wanting the appearance of being put together and successful and I was so terrified that if anyone scratched even like a centimeter below the surface they were going to realize that I was a complete shitshow not in a fun way, but in a very unhealthy way. I lived every day terrified that people were going to notice that I was a liar and a fraud and so I was protecting that ego, that my outward representation of self, that my sister.
Speaker 1:We were at a restaurant, family dinner. My sister poked at the name and called me out, said this is not a good name and here's what's going to happen. If you go with this name. I lost my shit, yelling, stood up in the restaurant like literally I used to have big time anger issues, lost my shit. My niece, who was younger at the time, was scared of me for a long time. After that I totally hulked out because all I had, or all I thought I had, was the illusion of success and my ego was so scared all the time.
Speaker 2:So I okay, using myself as an example, I had that moment too. It was 2015. We just had our one year anniversary. In fact, behind us is the sign from our one year anniversary, with people that loved us, supported us, excited to be a part of our beginning story. While I felt like I needed to have the perception that we were all put together, I think the perception for me was it was still community. Right, Celebrate the community that built us.
Speaker 2:But I think the part that hit me where I said the house of cards is falling down. I think that's a very poignant part in somebody that's evaluating themselves, the eye in themselves, is that moment when, when the house of cards comes falling down, what do they do? And mine was. We ran out of money, we ran out of cashflow. I didn't know when the next paycheck was coming through. I didn't know when the next client paid. We only had our payroll back then was like $2,500, right, and I worried. I didn't even pay myself for a good month and a half because of that thing and I said to myself what, what the fuck did I do? Right, I just threw this huge party on your budget.
Speaker 2:I just threw this huge party and then, all of a sudden, two days later, I'm telling the team I can't afford payroll anymore. And that's when I knew the house of cards fell. This wasn't a solid company and I needed to do something about it. I remember the feeling of panic, calling a business coach trying to figure it all out. My ego went and checked that day and said it is not sexy to be a business owner at all.
Speaker 1:That whole summer.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, that whole summer we went to Vegas for a conference because we could afford it. We went to Vegas to go to a conference and we celebrated with the team. We hired new people, we got amazing new accounts. One of our big accounts at the time was Orange Theory Fitness here in New Mexico, which was stellar to have as a starting industry. And then fast forward. We have this one year anniversary and we already had like 20 clients on the list and I was like we're fucking made at. I did it.
Speaker 2:Look what I did, and then the house of cards kept falling down, I think. Have you ever seen the show House of Cards in Netflix pre? I've?
Speaker 1:made a house of cards Does that count? In my grandma's basement in Iowa? There is nothing to do there.
Speaker 2:Frank Underwood pre Kevin Spacey bullshit was a fantastic character. He was the image, the spitting like, figuratively speaking. Justin, have you seen House of Cards? Oh my God, it's so good.
Speaker 1:Can we have some time off this week to watch it? It sounds very important.
Speaker 2:Oh, it is definitely not a work related show, but it teaches you about political ego at its finest, where it could end up and people being killed yeah, being killed because of it. This was before Trump, though, and literally Trump ruined the whole storyline of House of Cards because it got a little too real.
Speaker 1:It's not fun anymore.
Speaker 2:It's not fun anymore. Yeah, but the crazy part about it was like Frank Underwood was the epitome of a politician's ego. Yeah, where, if you don't like the story, you killed the fucking reporter that put it together Easiest way to do it. You wanted the Senate to pass Just objectively speaking, is all I'm saying.
Speaker 1:I'm not encouraging anyone to do that.
Speaker 2:Like if you disagreed with politics or the political nature. You had to puff up your ego to make sure that you. You puffed up your ego and then what Frank Underwood would do was throw favors and deals out, negotiate to make sure this is how politics works. It's very and the show was based off of the parliament in the UK which was also called House of Cards, but it had the. You know, you need Jack on the logo instead of the United States. So, anyways, I think that show very much like. When I think of the classic narcissist and the classic egotistical maniac, I think of Frank Underwood.
Speaker 1:And I'm just going to put out there, because these are so our words right and our society and how we view things. Narcissistic personality disorder is an actual thing. It is not thinking too highly of yourself or having an inflated sense of self, it's an actual mental disorder. And we throw these things together and they're different, and then we look at narcissists as bad and it's like no, they're actually going through something that's a wiring of the brain and body that doesn't allow them to connect. Like it's a legitimate thing and it's not pretty. And brain is actually your next topic, indeed, so a lot of mental unwellness is not pretty, and ego can fall into that Absolutely. And you bring up something that's great that I want to touch on, because we don't look at it enough or we don't, we don't talk about this. I don't think like, yes, ego is, I right, it's the self, and yet it's a separate entity simultaneously. So you got to walk in the gray with me here for this because we're not.
Speaker 1:We like to think of like black and white. We're kind of immature.
Speaker 2:That's the rise and fall of crystals. The R is right, there is the black, and I think in black and white.
Speaker 1:We all want to, but life's actually gray, and so is ego, and so is the self. So the ego is self and it's not, and this is where I found that it can actually be used in a great way. But it has a survival system. Just like we do as a, as an animal, like in the brain, the ego does as well and just like and we're gonna talk about the brain next week, so stick around We'll go to weird lengths if we think that we're under legitimate threat and the brain receives all threat is legitimate threat. It doesn't understand anxiety is like false threat. I'm not actually gonna die, nope, same response as if a bear was in front of me. And ego has the same thing. So, like you talk about, like actually killing someone.
Speaker 1:I'm not, no, not me, no, I'm saying in the show, frank actually has someone killed because the ego thing is under. That's an extreme example, but we actually do go to really uncomfortable and unfortunate lengths to protect the ego, because it actually has a survival system built in. And one of the things of coming into relationship with the ego and using it for success is to actually create a sense of safety for self, and I know we're gonna talk about identity on another more talk a lot about safety when we talk about the brain's role and success, but there's a lot of crossover here. And when we can eat in partnership with ego, this seemingly separate entity, then we're able to use it for success. So I know we've talked about, you've struggled to be the face of this company and the voice of this company, and yet we need you to be because your name's on the door.
Speaker 2:It's funny. You're not the only team member where we're thinking about how do we approach today's episode. There was an employee once it was 2018 River. We loved River.
Speaker 2:He's a great alumni of the company. His success is very much because of his work ethic and his confidence not ego, really, go with the flow kind of guy, total confidence yeah, go with the flow, confidence kind of guy. And he said he was in the business development role for a while one of our first and I said hey, river, I struggled with the fact that I don't wanna be the face of the company all the time. I feel like it's very showbody. I feel like I'm talking too much about myself and this is a lot of attention on me. And he said if you don't do it, we're not gonna be successful in terms of that and you have to put yourself out there.
Speaker 2:Granted, he was 22 when he said this. Bless his heart. He was 22 when he said this and I was like in my early 30s, that was very ballsy and very smart of him to do. And he was right. And he's right. Yeah, 100% he was right. And I thought that was very meaningful for him to say that, because it helped me realize again what I wanted for him. He wanted for me. I wanted to push him outside of his comfort zone so he can learn about himself. He was pushing me outside of my comfort zone and actually to be more successful for his benefit and for the entire company's benefit.
Speaker 2:We're a team of six at the time. But it's true, it was great. It was a great evolution of what we needed to hear and why we needed to hear it, for sure.
Speaker 1:So what was your process of harmonizing humility and ego? Because, yes, they can and do coexist when we're in a healthy space.
Speaker 2:I think about I've said this on a couple of different episodes. I think about what's my mission in life Create jobs.
Speaker 1:I always put this up, create, people Create people help jobs, create jobs and help people.
Speaker 2:Helping people helps keep your. It helps keep the harmony. For example, one of the biggest things any business owner that is not self serving is the big question how much do I pay myself? It's hard to talk about salaries and compensation, especially when you have a team of people, but especially when you're a publicly traded company, you see that an executive is gonna be making two to five million.
Speaker 1:I'm not making that. I was like we need to have a very different conversation, if that's what's happening.
Speaker 2:Yeah, especially since we don't even bring that kind of revenue in yet.
Speaker 1:And we're all looking at those numbers.
Speaker 2:You, can all see the cashlights right, but that is a common question that many agency and small business owners agency owners and small business have, especially ones that wear their hot on heart on their sleeves. The way that I do so I can tend to look at and sometimes I do look at evaluations and company look at the possibilities of buying a company and I see who's paying who who's paying what. I even went through personal professional coaching professional coaching actually and said to them once I'm feeling really guilty about how much I'm paying myself.
Speaker 1:A lot of business owners and entrepreneurs go through that. Correct we're gonna have a whole episode on money.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, whole episode on money. Yeah, I asked myself at that moment. I feel like if I'm creating jobs and helping people first, then I can not necessarily reward myself. I can pay myself that's going to take care of my family and take care of my external family too, like my parents and stuff like that. I know the time is gonna come. So as long as I can help people and create jobs first, then I can look at a less egotistical way to pay myself. It took. I still struggle with that number. Yeah, I still struggle with that number. I sometimes feel better when I don't pay myself.
Speaker 1:I know.
Speaker 2:It sucks when it's like we're gonna need to look into that yeah yeah, it sucks when the conversation like when the bill collectors come in, but I mean that right. What is in the best interest of the company? It does come first to me. When I see somebody that has a very high wage and then I look at and this is not a traditional thought when I see other and then the wages of the employees, that's when I start to question ego.
Speaker 1:See and that and so, and you kind of brought us back to the original piece there where, like, if I create jobs and help people outward and then I make money so I can take care of others, now I've justified my salary.
Speaker 2:Girl, I will buy a Prada purse if I can afford it. Let me tell you, I will See, and that's, and I do pull myself first.
Speaker 1:And that's okay.
Speaker 2:And then we have this idea that the other is somebody or people can buy Prada purses for me. You can send them to.
Speaker 1:PO Box Free shit, Right so? And then the alternative is the executive who's paying themselves seven figures and then paying their employee. Very little Like this is exemplifying our idea of ego, when, if I were to tell you I am dating this person and whenever we have-.
Speaker 2:About a damn hour or just like two. No, this is a real a line. I am dating a person and this is not aligned with our scenario at all. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, good.
Speaker 1:And every time we have dinner, he makes dinner for himself, and then whatever's left over that he doesn't wanna eat, I'm allowed to eat. That pissed me the fuck off. You would not be super enthusiastic about me dating this person, right Unless?
Speaker 2:you're like hey, let me make my own dinner because I have dietary restrictions.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, there's no scenario. This is just how we roll. I just have the scraps after he's done.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's not cool.
Speaker 1:And yet we do that to ourselves all the time. Oh, I shouldn't have the whole meal, I'll just have what. Once I've paid everyone else, then I'll just have whatever's left over.
Speaker 1:Oh, no, no, no no, you include yourself in that pie.
Speaker 1:But that's when we have this idea of ego and that, well then, I shouldn't have like, I shouldn't want anything, I shouldn't be in a successful place unless everyone around me is, because then I'd be egotistical and then I'd be over here on this side with this jerk right.
Speaker 1:What if other people were to do that behavior to us or those we care about? Be like oh fuck, this very much, you deserve a full meal, you deserve to be fed when you're at someone's home, like you deserve to be fed or whatever, right? So we have this really unhealthy relationship with self because we've been taught that it's a negative thing to take care of ourselves or to have any, to put ourselves in the equation, and I think this is and I see it in men too. But I do think that there's something that I watch when I do consulting with female entrepreneurs yeah, it's even bigger where you would feel much better if I was like girl. Let me tell you I went out on this date with this guy and brother cooked a whole delicious meal and then ate it in front of me and just wanted to give me the scraps and I was like heck, no.
Speaker 2:I have value yeah.
Speaker 1:Or maybe I helped even make the meal and then I didn't get any of it and I was like, no, that's not acceptable. Yeah, To me, I have value. I deserve to have a meal, I deserve to be fed. You'd be like heck, yeah, that's very healthy to us that you did that when it's outside with another person. But the moment I start talking about having but what I deserve and having value and I worked hard for that now I'm a jerk. One of my favorite instances in life where this came all to full circle, I was saying something that I felt really cool about with myself.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was really neat and I was sharing it because you have to celebrate, yeah For success. Uh-huh, science proves it. We'll do a whole episode on celebrating for success. So I was talking about it and this woman told me well, you think very highly of yourself, don't you? Fuck that bitch? And I said yes, don't you? Sorry? And the look on her face was like oh fuck, I don't.
Speaker 2:Like I guess I don't Like.
Speaker 1:it was like she realized oh wow, this person recognizing their value. I just saw that as a negative thing. What does that say about my relationship with?
Speaker 2:self and she just had this like, oh fuck.
Speaker 1:And I was like, yeah, let's maybe look at that. Me loving who I am and being really excited about who I am does not make me an egotistical asshole. It makes me in a loving relationship with myself. Oh yeah, now, when I go, and who I am is better than you, and here's why I get these things and you don't. Ok, now we've shifted into an unhealthy relationship.
Speaker 1:Yeah, those aren't the same thing. Yes, and we can't succeed by being small, by not being fed, by having this notion like oh, no, I'm modest, like, oh, I shouldn't be the face of this company, and things like that. We're not going to be successful. Having a healthy relationship with ourselves is the path to success.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, and it's right now. We're filming in August, right, it's Health and Wellness Month. Wait, wait wait?
Speaker 1:National Wellness Month National Wellness.
Speaker 2:Month, so very relevant topic for sure. Totes, yeah, but you said something that made me think of OK, so at what point do we look at again the pendulum swing?
Speaker 1:right.
Speaker 2:I thought about Maslom's hierarchy of needs. Let's go there first, let's do it. Yeah, Maslom's hierarchy of needs right there is. That is like an ultimate temperature gauge on when you can really test somebody's self-confidence in themselves, confidence in themselves, self-worth, self-mastery, like you said, how well they master themselves, how are they celebrating themselves, how are they protecting themselves. I think that's important Because you think?
Speaker 2:about it. Safety and security, the basis of Maslom's hierarchy of needs. Everybody needs safety and security. Great, when is my safety and security more than the other person next to me? Right Goes back to the analogy right, when you're on an airplane and you're on an airplane, and the oxygen mask yes.
Speaker 2:Who's mask do you put on first? Yours? You always put on yourselves, right, always. Safety so, and security so in this instance, to me, that's when you can really pressure test, pressure test a person in terms of you know. Again, ego is all opinion per se, but when somebody is like I'm a man and I need to step up and make sure that I'm secure first, and they put and they're a cart, like they're, they have a concealed and carry, cool. That's their safety mechanism. If they're wearing a gun, because they want to feel more confident in themselves and make sure that they can fuck up somebody next to them, that's an ego problem to me.
Speaker 1:See, and I going to the airplane one, I would think like oxygen masks fall. I'm with my elderly parent and my kid and yeah, I got to put on mine first and then I'm going to put theirs on, that way of taking care of them, right? But yeah, I'm putting on mine first so I don't pass out and then they can't do it, right? Yeah, healthy sense of self and relationship to others, 100%. Now, if I put on mine and then I went, I don't know that I'm going to get enough oxygen If all these other people have oxygen and I went around and cut theirs. Thank you, that's what you're talking about.
Speaker 2:But you shouldn't even have a knife to begin with. Well, the plane.
Speaker 1:Baby, loosen them, then stand our seats. No, they do not. They made me throw away this whole thing of a hair product that I just bought in Memphis and I was like I meant to put that in my thing. Anyway, that's different, that's different, but we've blended the concepts as one, like one way that I can think of it. This like so, let's say, I owned a rock shop and I had done a really cool job of saying rock shops exist.
Speaker 1:I think about the pet rock that you can have pet rocks, but the world is full of amazing natural things and people and rocks Collect them and put them in.
Speaker 2:These are real.
Speaker 1:So let's say I've done that right and I set it up really cool and it was really easy to find stuff and it was really beautiful and had a great vibe. When you came in and I had done a really good job marketing it and everybody knew my rock shop was the place to be and it was really fun and I helped educate people on all the different rocks and it was just a great place. And people would be like, hey, jace, amazing rock shop and I'd be like, oh, thank you, I've had so much fun setting it up. I love the shop. I'm not taking the credit of the beauty that nature has created in the rocks themselves, right? So like that's humility and ego and healthy balance.
Speaker 2:So let's go back to the rock shop analogy though.
Speaker 1:Do you want to start one together? I'm just brainstorming here New business idea. No, ma'am sorry.
Speaker 2:Okay, that's a no for me, as I say on charting, okay. So let's say, for example, somebody comes up to you because this happens to me all the time, especially in the story of success I'll tell you the path that I chose. So say, for example, you open up your shop in Old Town and two months later somebody goes hey, I'm such a fan, I'm so inspired by you. Or I've loved rocks too. I see that you do things this way. I'm going to actually open up my own rock shop in Cottonwood Mall and a mall here in Albuquerque and I'm going to open it up and I'm going to do things my way. But just know, I like rocks as much as you do and I appreciate Mother Earth as much as you do Do. And they come up to you and they say how did you price your rocks?
Speaker 1:Would you tell them that answer? You bet? Please see my commentary on the competition episode. Yeah, absolutely, and that's Community 2, right?
Speaker 2:Yeah, no one, I was saying that. Yeah, if you're not familiar we have our channel with all of these episodes.
Speaker 1:No one, no one is going to do their rock shop the way I do it, right, yeah, so I'm going to talk to you about that, enthusiastic about people getting the rocks that they need I am a person for the people in the rock world. Then I want to make sure that if they're out there on the west side, they don't have to come all the way to downtown to get there. If someone else is going to open one for them, I'm not going to block the rock. You're welcome. That did happen.
Speaker 2:I wish I could have done it with a straight face and I was very excited about it.
Speaker 1:Did you like it or not?
Speaker 1:Like nope, you're getting a face foam. There you go. Comedy is a numbers game, all right. So yeah, I absolutely am going to help them because that strengthens the rock community here in town. It's going to open up more resources. Maybe next year we're getting a convention going, because there's so many of us rocksters out here I don't know if that's what they call them, but it could be Rock stars. You have to reach rock level success for that. But now we were rocking out. Now Albuquerque's got this great rock scene All right, sorry If you're watching this and thinking it's funny.
Speaker 1:You're probably stoned. Huh, all right, you took you a second there. These are like pebbles, you know, they're just throwing out the pebbles. No, okay, no puns, just keeps on rolling, Rolling. Yes, he's rolling, indeed, now we're totally out of track. But yeah, I absolutely would Help them Because it's good for the community. Yeah, it's going to be beneficial to me as well, and so my only eye can have rock shops in the Albuquerque area. That's an unhealthy ego in the mix.
Speaker 2:So I think in this instance that scenario is actually very common in the public relations industry. Sorry to kind of level out the rock puns.
Speaker 1:Leveling is also a term you use when you're dealing with rocks. Well done.
Speaker 2:This is the best pun roll that we've had so far.
Speaker 1:Thinking about it, I think, I think we could be bolder. I do. Yeah, sorry, that was my last one. Ha ha ha.
Speaker 2:Just like waving us, like, please, and now.
Speaker 1:I'm hearing that.
Speaker 2:Oscar music. Okay, the whole point, though. The whole point, though, is that happens very commonly in the public relations, specifically social media. Back in 2014, a lot of people saw what we were doing. I waited, and a lot of these companies started to come up and rise to the occasion, and a lot of people were like, oh, your competitor took your work, or you know, oh, so this person and this person, everybody worked with you, but now they're working on the alternative and they're switching vendors, et cetera. I was like, okay, cool, that's exciting.
Speaker 2:And then I would take those competitors out and be like yo, let me tell you about this client that we have, and I'm gonna give you some pointers so you can be successful where we weren't. Or another competitor, another agency. I'll give them a huge shout out Lavender. Lavender was Ramshua, and they called, and they were like Crystal, how did you do it? I said what do you mean? I said how do you price yourself? And I was like well, it depends, right, how much you wanna pay yourself, how much you wanna pay the team, how much you wanna pay this and depends on your model whatever you wanna do, think of it that way, and I remember feeling like this is fun.
Speaker 2:This is fun. Not putting it put myself first, because I will still be an asset to our clients If I say we're not a good fit. But you need to talk to these guys 100%. Yeah, or a resource.
Speaker 1:Now you're a connector.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're a connector and that's my role, that's my feeling, that's what I like, and I felt that being a good steward of the trade was a way to level out your ego, like make that balancing act but at the same time, also help the community at the same time, the community of those that are in the trade with you. And I also wanted to show to them please don't, I don't have an ego. I've had other bosses that are like why the fuck are you talking to them? This is our account, this is our client, I'm protective of it, et cetera. That ego is the reason why we're number two as one of the best agencies in New Mexico today.
Speaker 1:See, and you said I don't have an ego, you have a healthy ego. Okay, my leader, my captain, you have a healthy ego. It's why we're not just successful, but why we're a company that gets to operate in integrity. Yes, don't fight it. Nope, I'm not fighting it. I was like, if you're about to fight it, well, look at the time we've gotta wrap up now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so in terms of ego, we see healthy ego. See the definition of I. We see that ego plays a part in, sometimes power. Right, we talked about that. Sure, maslow's hierarchy needs. And yeah, good way to kind of summarize the word I in Latin, was it?
Speaker 1:Yeah, ego is Latin Okay, ego is Latin, Okay there we go.
Speaker 2:Thanks for joining me. As usual, jace, really appreciate your time and also your stories. This is gonna be the end of stories of success and stuff for this today's episode. Next episode is going to be the brain insane in the membrane, according to Cypress Hill.
Speaker 1:I'm very excited about that one. Thank you for everything to talk about and sing songs about. Apparently Not sure why that came out that way, but it did and I very much hope that you enjoyed today's episode.
Speaker 2:Please don't forget to subscribe. Smash that like button. Smash that like button, smash it. With a metal, with a rock hammer. And don't forget to follow us on our social media channels at CRS of the agency. Thanks so much for being here today and we look forward to talking about the brain on next week's episode. These are some totally different stories of success. Thanks so much. Always nice to hear from you, guy, and I hope that was helpful.
