Episode 16: Celebrations

Join hosts Kristelle Siarza Moon and Jace Downey in this episode as they uncover the transformative magic of celebrations. From personal to professional milestones, they explore how commemorating achievements can reshape our perspective.

Discover the art of celebrating both big and small victories, and how it keeps the motivation alive on the journey to success. Explore the wellness benefits of taking time to relish your accomplishments in a world where self-recognition often takes a back seat.

As the episode unfolds, learn the stress-relieving power of celebrations and gain insights on crafting meaningful, joy-filled moments for yourself and your loved ones. Embrace the importance of pausing, resetting, and cherishing your milestones.

This episode is designed to inspire listeners to celebrate every milestone in their life and cherish the journey. Tune in and join the celebration!

A Siarza Production
Hosted by Kristelle Siarza Moon & Jace Downey
Executive Producer: Kristelle Siarza Moon
Producer: Jace Downey
Video/Editing: Justin Otsuka

Watch episodes at siarza.com/siarza-podcast
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Follow Kristelle @kristellesiarza
www.misskristelle.com
Follow Jace @jacedowneyofficial
www.jacedowney.com

Transcript

Kristelle: 0:00

I know that celebrations are supposed to cheer you on and be positive, but it also, like you said, it's that mile marker where you can look back and say where have you come or where have you been Also a very sobering reminder. Like, don't go back to that either. We had a little bit of a break. We did, yes, and it was not only a little bit of a break, but it feels like a damn siesta, like a quick but really good nap.

Jace: 0:30

Oh, a fiesta siesta, a fiesta siesta.

Kristelle: 0:34

So obviously, welcome back to stories, success and stuff. It's great to see you all again. I'm Crystal CR's a moon, so very.

Jace: 0:46

I got a moon on today for you specifically.

Kristelle: 0:49

I'm ready.

Jace: 0:50

I got my moon and my balloons for you today. I know I was like.

Kristelle: 0:53

Yes, Crystal merchandise all the way through. Obviously, Jayce Downey here. Come on for today Specific topic is celebrations and very much ties into belated, heavy birthday to you, Thank you. Celebrations for me in the wedding. I mean we could talk about our birthdays like the wedding for 45 minutes, it's true, but you know, obviously we have some meaningful content to go through it. What was Okay? So you took a three day break, which is great for your birthday. And you had like your squad come into town. Right, Talk about that for a minute.

Jace: 1:32

This is a perfect topic for today Because, as you know, as you hit these age milestones, you know you come to a birthday and you start looking at life, or I do.

Kristelle: 1:41

I don't know about you, but it's like another year older.

Jace: 1:44

Where am I at in life? What have I accomplished this last year? Yeah, and I get stuck sometimes in this notion that I'm not where I'm supposed to be at this age. Oh, you beat yourself up. I don't beat myself up, but I kind of. It's not like this ruminating meanness, but I do. I kind of get down on myself a little bit because on paper I'm not where I'm supposed to be. Right, I'm not at a level of success in these areas that society has deemed what we're supposed to do.

Kristelle: 2:14

Society has deemed it yeah.

Jace: 2:16

And consciously. I know that we talk about that here, we have to define it for ourselves, but that stuff sinks in Like I'm just as much a take on collective consciousness as anybody. And so I sat and I thought, well, where are you at Jayce Like and where you invested your time and your energy and your resources, do you have a return on that investment? And so, with my crew being in town, I had my best friend, his husband, a great friend from Austin, one of my. She's a soul companion through and through. Yeah, yes, oh, my gosh.

Kristelle: 2:47

I love these people. Can I have a sexual life?

Jace: 2:48

meet. Yeah, I mean, it depends where you're about to text them and they call you or you, just you're on that level, always together. That's her, and I.

Kristelle: 2:58

It's a little scary when they text you because you're like, oh well, I was just thinking about her. Yeah, and how did that happen? That's awesome.

Jace: 3:04

Okay. So what did you guys? Oh my gosh, we did so much. We did so many things, and one of the cool things was I actually asked her to come, which is not something I would do, because that's like, oh, that's like quite an ask, right To have someone come in for your birthday.

Jace: 3:16

But I was like I'm going to do it, I'm just going to be like, hey, any chance you want to come, I'm going to come into town. And then she said yes, and I was like for real. So, as I was looking, I was just kidding.

Kristelle: 3:27

Well, I wasn't kidding, but I was like.

Jace: 3:29

I felt like that was like a stretch for me to ask for that thing. Yeah, it's a big thing, yeah, it's a big ask. So, as I was looking back and I looked at all of the things that were done for my birthday and I had like a 10 day birthday stretch of celebration with things with my family, with friends, with groups. 10 days 10 days it's still go. I still got a couple of birthday lunches waiting for me, but my best friend and his husband, they planned a whole surprise day for me for all things specific for me. We just did all of this stuff and I paused down and I looked at these people who went out of their way to celebrate me, who literally came to my city to be with me and to show me love and the gifts that I got and their time times, my love language, all of this stuff, and I thought that's so cool.

Kristelle: 4:16

What?

Jace: 4:16

more success do you need? Yeah, I'm the person that I've been working to become. I actually am her now. Yeah, I've spent the last 10 years yeah, yeah, like, truly dedicated my time and energy to not being a shitty person, to turning my life around from addiction.

Kristelle: 4:31

I'm so glad you're not a shitty person either. Thank you, it's so much nicer, even just for me Living as a shitty person sucks.

Jace: 4:36

Yeah, we don't talk about that enough. But, like if you have an asshole and you're like, trust me, it sucks more for them. I remember a friend telling me once like you're just basically like you kind of suck to hang out with, Like you're kind of an asshole, and I was like, yeah, but you get to walk away, I have to be with me all the time.

Kristelle: 4:52

Like it does fucking suck right. Yeah, but I'm not anymore Like I love being with me.

Jace: 4:56

I'm not a shitty person. I'm not striving to become who I want to be. I actually am just living as that person. Now. That's so cool, and I have the evidence of others in my life who respect and love that person and I help them become the people they want to be too. Yeah, and I thought what more do you want, honey? Oh, that's really sweet. What more success do you want in life?

Kristelle: 5:19

Well, and when I met them okay, so the I took a sabbatical for a week as well, and to me it felt like a sabbatical. But when I met them on Friday at the New Mexico United Gay, forgive me that I was already like a little bit inebriated, but when I met them, I remember thinking you're, you're. It's a good testament of who you are as a person when you meet the people that surround them. They were genuine and kind and very patient with me while I was like very like, very much drinking, and they were also just genuine, right like you could tell that they don't have a filter. So that was, it was really sweet to meet them, yeah, and then obviously too, like it was, it was very obvious that you were in your happy place too. You were glowing. I love my people.

Kristelle: 6:07

Yeah well, and I think that a lot of professionals forget that. You know, if they ask like what's not fulfilling in my life, they don't have a squad behind them, like in one of our episodes. Yeah, and celebrating things like your birthday, especially when you're older, like I, I think more people when they're older should celebrate more of their birthday.

Jace: 6:28

I think so too and be celebrated more like. I look at birthdays kind of selfishly, where when I'm celebrating someone's birthday, it's yeah, it's for them, but it's to celebrate the impact they have in my life, like my life is better because of the people in it and their birthday is a day to honor that.

Kristelle: 6:44

Yeah, and to celebrate that, for sure, yeah.

Jace: 6:46

Yeah, like I love this celebration topic because there are these reasons to celebrate all the time. Yeah, we don't have to wait for big things like weddings or birthdays to celebrate. And in fact and I know we're going to dig into this a little bit we have a better chance at success over time if we celebrate the winds along the way.

Kristelle: 7:04

Oh yeah, so it was funny, another reason why I really like this topic for today. My son and I have these like really pseudo philosophical questions and I remember him asking himself like well, I don't know where I need to go, I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I don't know. You know, I want to have a girlfriend. He's 15. So he's like I want to have a girlfriend, etc.

Kristelle: 7:33

And so I think one of the funny conversations that came up, I said, jonathan, I was really mean to myself when I was your age and even in my 20s he goes. Well, what do you mean? And I said, well, you got to be nice to yourself and you have to take a moment to celebrate what you've accomplished. And I told him about how, like I blinked and you were 15 all of a sudden. And then I beat myself up as a mom not realizing he his birthday is actually a celebration for me too, because it's another trip around the sun for him. He's even a little bit more older. You know, his birthday doesn't have to be like a shotgun party over at Cliff's amusement park, right, like it's just it's. I have to tell him like we got to stop sometimes and actually enjoy where we're at in life. And I think, if anything like, yeah, he might, he's going to make some mistakes and he's going to fail a couple times, but at least I hope so.

Kristelle: 8:26

At least I hope he realizes like take a moment to celebrate the little wins. Which is how I talked about the wedding with him too, kind of a good easy segue. I stressed out so much in the beginning planning it.

Jace: 8:40

But I told him, if anybody hasn't planned a wedding, hire an event planner or a wedding planner, or somehow talk four of your closest friends to plan it for you as a surprise, as you, as you have seen.

Kristelle: 8:53

But you know for us, you know we. I told him at multiple times. I said I knew that we were going to celebrate us throughout the entire week, that we had to take a moment to like breathe and like take it all in and if a lot of people during the wedding, I think, saw that I mean you stayed till the end.

Jace: 9:19

Yeah, yeah, give me a dance floor. I'm on beyond. That's all I'm gonna say. I know.

Kristelle: 9:24

Okay, so, okay, let me talk about the wedding for a second. It was super freaking, cool, like and and Justin's always the third person in this podcast but I was even more comforting to have just now, like getting emotional, thinking about it, like it was really great to have Justin there, because he's always been the person in the peripheral, like being a side of the story of my life. So like, thank you, justin. I don't know why I'm crying about you, but I am. But it was even more meaningful to have somebody that I'm incredibly comfortable with during my wedding, like from the beginning of it, because he's capturing these moments of celebration and excitement and laughter and really inappropriate things that Spencer said in the middle of the ceremony. I was like, oh my god, I can't believe you're saying this.

Kristelle: 10:13

And for the priest, we did what we wanted to do, which was celebrate our love, and we did it in a way where why don't I cry? Good thing I'm not wearing makeup. We did it in a way which was very intentional. Like I look at my friends that got married, like this weekend, right, alexis and Sal Perdomo got married and they're in the real estate industry here in town and they're developers and what was crazy about their wedding, like their favorite photo cracked me up. Their favorite photo was them literally sitting in two chairs with her in a glass of wine. It wasn't the ceremony, it wasn't the reception, she was just like.

Kristelle: 10:56

The fact that we got to sit down and enjoy each other was my favorite moment and I said I know exactly what that meant. So during the wedding we had the ceremony, we got nervous, et cetera. We drove away in a car for an hour and I said I intentionally built this in. I was rushing through our photos I don't know if Justin noticed it right and of course we're super comfortable around Justin, so we're just being ourselves but we drove away for an hour. We went to go grab cigarettes and monsters. That is the most married couple thing we could have done. I showed up to the Indian Public Cultural Center gas station on 12th Street in my damn dress and drank a monster right across from the Domino's.

Jace: 11:47

I'm getting the visual now. Just the epitome of romance. I love it, I'm about it.

Kristelle: 11:52

It was the coolest ways for us to celebrate each other because it was just like it was us. And then even our first dance it was private. Justin was there, the photographer and even our wedding coordinator. She's like, I know I'm not supposed to watch, but this is really cool. We danced under the fractals, what? Yeah, I'll have to show you guys a photo when the finals come out, but it was a really great way to celebrate us.

Kristelle: 12:16

But I think the whole excitement of it, there's no lesson. There's no lesson from the whole wedding. I think I look back at it now and I said to myself I'm really glad we did what we did, because I'm not going to remember the food, I'm not going to remember the cake, I'm not going to remember the disaster of not even wearing boutonniers. I'm not going to remember that stuff in 10 to 15 years. Disaster, it's just. I'm not going to remember the little.

Kristelle: 12:45

I even told myself, even before the wedding had happened. I said I'm not going to worry about that stuff. I'm going to remember the moments of us together. And that's the part that I'm like can we do it again? Can we get married? Can we do this again? Can I be on a honeymoon again. Those are the things I'm going to remember and I think so. If there was a lesson out of this whole thing being the podcast, we were about story success and stuff I think taking moments to pause and just reflect and stop beating ourselves up and just saying where did I go, where did I be, why did I reevaluate myself? Or why am I in the wooded kudashoods?

Kristelle: 13:22

or the used to kuds, as Spencer and I call it I used to could do this. I used to do this? I could do this, but I don't anymore that kind of thing. Instead of getting ourselves caught in that cycle. Just celebrate. You know what? I woke up today and I took a shower. That's a fucking win for me.

Jace: 13:39

Some days, yeah, Some days. I'm like I took all of my vitamins today. Nailed it Adulting. Fancy feast right there no.

Kristelle: 13:51

I mean, sometimes I think we get into this cycle of celebrating has to be big, has to be a party, it has to be a dinner, as it should be.

Kristelle: 14:06

As it can be as it can be, it's the best way to put it, even just saying to myself you know what? I'm going to go to lunch today at a fancy place and I'm going to eat dinner by myself because I did something really good today. Yeah, I think that's great. Or even, like you know what, as long as it's not an indulgence, I want to go get that Big Mac that I haven't had in almost two years.

Jace: 14:29

OK for me, yeah, yeah, I agree 1,000%. I had a really good friend, so I'm obsessed with self mastery, as you know. That's kind of been my last 10 years and recognizing like so, going from oh, I'm a completely worthless being that shouldn't get to live, to like, oh wait, a second, maybe that's not true. Oh wait, I'm kind of cool. Whoa, I'm way more capable than I thought of. Holy and like just growing.

Jace: 14:55

Now it's like what else is out there, what else can I do? Like what would my full potential look like? Now, it's not this like sense of having to improve because I'm awful, but it's more like, oh, I'm a pretty neat person and I wonder what we could do with that. So I'm always looking for what's next and I'm immediately self reflecting all the time, which actually feels I got a little message from my inner self.

Jace: 15:17

Being like that kind of is hurtful, to always be looking for how to improve and like what's next and how could we have done this differently and all of that. And so I had a really great friend. Be like Jace. You've got to stop sometimes and just enjoy the fruits of your labor that you've already put in, like you already have come a long way. Yes, reflect on that, but celebrate it. It's so important and to keep us going. And it does hurt, like when I got that little message from my inner self being like hey, by the way, always telling me I need to improve doesn't feel great. Yeah, why, of course it doesn't.

Kristelle: 15:52

Now that you mentioned it, no, I even think like sea levels, like myself, when we have a major life event like this where we get married, we have a kid, et cetera, Justin's becoming a big part of the content topic. Like I remember telling him, I said not a lot of companies get to have paternal leave and I said I don't think it's fair that men only get two weeks when they should have paternal leave as much as maternal leave, so it's just family leave, and I think that Justin's an incredible dad because of the fact that he got to sit and enjoy all of it rather than anxiously going back to work.

Kristelle: 16:37

And that goes back to me. Yeah, I could have taken an extra week if I really wanted to with getting married, or we could have gone off and had a honeymoon. You know what? What we did? We woke up at 11 o'clock on the Tuesday after the wedding and we got door dash because somebody gave us a gift card. We eat or dash a lot, but that's besides the point. Like it was really nice Just to enjoy ourselves in the moment.

Kristelle: 17:02

Yeah, of being husband and wife and it still hasn't like yeah, it's the honeymoon phase, but it still hasn't like kicked in that. Oh shit, like this you can sit and just enjoy it, but you don't have to like you. We really didn't have to go to like cancun or like a fucking trip to Italy or anything like that, like right away, it was just nice, just to marinate in the in the excitement and the joy and Recover from all the drinking that we did that week.

Jace: 17:31

Oh, I love that. I love this notion that the greatest celebration perhaps we can have for ourselves is to just be fully present in the lives of the situation Situation we've created.

Kristelle: 17:45

Yeah, I, I also think you know to kind of switch gears a little bit. There was a woman and when I switch gears in terms of how people made it into a business themselves, or how people have Used celebrations as their mantra in life.

Kristelle: 17:59

As we're kind of talking over arching, there's a woman that I really looked up to when I first started my business and she she did this for me that I do for other women Now. Her name is Tiffany Gravel. Tiffany started a company called oh Gosh, it was her. Why am I blanking on her name of her company? It's event planning company. She's playing Maravia, the Somos Unidis foundation ball.

Kristelle: 18:24

Phenomenal corporate event planner Even a nonprofit corporate event planner what I love about Tiffany, though, is that her motto for her company which I really think is her motto in life is leave nothing Celebrated, mm.

Kristelle: 18:41

I loved that when she started her business and what I? What I specifically what she did is that she celebrated women that went into business for themselves and she would take them out to lunch and pay for their lunch Anytime. That she did that and when she did that to me, I like almost cried, not that I couldn't afford the lunch, but right, I said, well, she did that for me, I'm gonna do that too. So now I sell it when a woman says I'm opening up my own business. There was a woman by the name of Beverly McClure. She started her own business, amanda Castillo, who went out and ventured on her own marketing firm. I I told them I was like I'm taking you to lunch because somebody did it for me. I do it for men too. But I said, you know, somebody did that for me.

Kristelle: 19:32

I want to celebrate you Taking this full-on leap and just saying, fuck it, I'm gonna work for myself, mm-hmm, I'm gonna create more jobs. I'm gonna. I'm gonna put in the sweat equity to do this. Celebrate it. Yes, I think they're more. There needs to be more business owners having birthdays for their companies. Yeah, because they should celebrate the fact that they're Going through another major milestone in their life, which is their company. So, anyways, I wanted to bring up the story about Tiffany and her incredible theme. In fact, tiffany, you should be on the show at some point in time.

Kristelle: 20:09

Tiffany really has leaves nothing Uncelebrated like it's one of my favorite motto is when it comes to the theme of celebration.

Jace: 20:16

For sure, yeah, I think we have this notion that if we celebrate along the way, it's gonna diminish the celebration component who?

Kristelle: 20:24

who came up with that?

Jace: 20:25

It's like it's terrible we only can do it when it's big and we deserved it, and it's easy.

Jace: 20:29

You know huge, monumental moments in life, but in actuality we tend to.

Jace: 20:34

If you look at efforts over time, when we're talking about success, and if we have a goal and it's a 10-year goal, let's say, or even a one-year goal in my world it should be like a lifetime it wears us down. If we only have one celebration as part of that, yeah, the motivation dies off, and so something I have found to be really helpful when I was running my own business or in other areas In my life is to have smaller milestones along the way, have a really clear vision of what success at that level Will look like for me and already have a celebration planned for them Along the way. And it's it's so much easier for for the brain to chew on, like, oh, I only have to get here and oh, yay, and then we get like that little boost and then it gives us the energy to keep going the rest of the way. So this notion that like oh, if we celebrate along the way, we're gonna diminish our efforts somehow, scientifically, that's not actually true.

Kristelle: 21:33

Yeah, no, I think it's kind of funny actually. So we use asana. Hey, asana, you should sponsor this podcast. Asana actually celebrates when you do a task. Have you noticed this? Of course, it has a unicorn that fly, oh, flies through the day of screen like, yeah, that's a really small, you know, celebration. You know you, I know that you're gonna talk about like the finding one a macro and a micro celebration is. Yeah, I think it's a great idea, because little things like that are Like even when you have to celebrate closing your laptop at three o'clock on a Friday.

Jace: 22:07

Oh yeah, when I actually turn. I will like tell this to my best friend, eric. Like I turned the laptop off on Friday last week. I left it here, yeah, full dedication that I would not be doing work and, okay, I have my personal laptop that I can work on if I need to. But it was the intention. It was the intention of, like I am not going to be this because I was gonna be celebrating all weekend For my birthday and that felt like such a gift to me. Where I went, I actually completed everything that I needed to do. I prepped for Monday, so I got my back for next week. Yeah, I love doing uh-huh and now I'm gonna close this down in honor of the efforts I put in and the celebration and it feels so good, like these little things, which that would be a micro Celebration, where we have our nine-year anniversary coming up at Ciarza right, like that's a macro celebration, that's a big one. That one is nine years.

Jace: 23:03

The making right, so that's gonna look different. Where shutting that laptop down and leaving it at the office, that's a micro celebration. Oh, I love a good party. Oh yeah, everybody knows a little party.

Kristelle: 23:12

Yeah, yeah, um. My celebration Just before the wedding was I had every intention to log off on Thursday but due to some unforeseen circumstances, I just had to log off on Monday. I even wrote this like long message to you guys, right, and I was like I'm terrified, like I'm terrified to do this. I'm gonna be gone for two weeks. I've never just checked out for this long Um.

Kristelle: 23:37

And even Ed was like well, you know, you should also make sure that you know Spencer needs to understand that you run a business, and I was like he does, like he's sacrificed a lot for this business too, behind the scenes. But I also want to celebrate us and celebrate him, so I'm gonna celebrate closing this laptop on Monday at five o'clock or whenever I logged off and said like I'm done for the time, and the amount of fear and excitement that happened in that one moment was just indescribable. But I definitely you know what I said in that meeting too was I had a moment of excitement and gratefulness, which is, in turn, like gratitude and celebration. Very much can go hand in hand Right, absolutely.

Kristelle: 24:20

In my head I said Ed said to us, like I said to me, like I said in the message if you don't trust me by now, crystal, I should quit. And I had full faith in everybody on the team and so I was like I feel fine, everything's gonna be fine and here we are. Walls are still around us.

Jace: 24:41

Clients are still on the books. I knew everything was going to be fine.

Kristelle: 24:45

I know that there was definitely more work done on certain levels, like people definitely had to pick up the pieces, which is stressful and I'm very, very conscious of that. But even celebrating them afterwards and being thankful for them, like like I said on the Monday meeting, today or this week, I was just like I'm going to be really annoying Because I'm really excited to be back and I definitely have kudos for everybody at this point and just saying thank you and how grateful I was that the company ran by itself and I feel like two weeks after nine years is justifiable.

Jace: 25:20

That's you know and you're right. Like if you've one of your great strengths is bringing together a really strong team and having everyone well positioned for their skill set in their wheelhouse.

Kristelle: 25:29

Yeah, and so well, I mean here, we are Right.

Jace: 25:32

We, we all did the things, we all kept in mind. We all kept everything up and running.

Kristelle: 25:36

All the balls are still in the air Patricia's still in my office.

Jace: 25:38

Patricia's still there. We just let her kick it for the time being.

Kristelle: 25:41

For those of you that don't know, Patricia is a skeleton from Halloween from last year.

Jace: 25:45

And she just has continued to be a skeleton and joining us in different components of the office.

Jace: 25:51

Yeah, exactly, and there and you mentioned that you love a good party and that I want to bring in that there that celebration can look different for all of us at different times. I remember I was celebrating some anniversary around not drinking, and I was out of some of my other vices as well, and it was a big anniversary and I'm like, huh, what do I do to celebrate? I'm eating healthy, so going out and like eating, you know, a big meal or something that's not on the table. Drinking is not on the table. These other things that I had normally done for celebration just weren't going to be in the mix, and so I actually paused down and I'm like what would just feel fun for you, like what would be something specific to you in this moment in life that would feel special to you.

Jace: 26:40

And the obvious answer was go to a used bookstore and can you store it?

Jace: 26:45

like and just go pick out some books which is like that's for me, that's you know everything. I'm like, oh man. So I went and just spent like an hour or so in the bookstore, which I just love. I'm an actual book reader, I can do the digital, but I love used books and energy that's gone into them and somebody's loved it or whatever. And so I went and I just picked out books and hung out in the bookstore and that's not like a party and I was by myself, but to me it felt special and I was like go ahead and treat yourself like whatever books you want.

Jace: 27:14

I like to buy collector books, to like really old books and unusual books and things. And for someone who's been nomadic for years, books are a real stupid thing to collect and be attached to, but I just keep hauling them along with me.

Kristelle: 27:26

I was gonna say I'm sure that the moving costs are just kind of rough on that part. Well, to my body, because I don't pay anyone to move my stuff.

Jace: 27:32

I just haul it around myself like an idiot, but yeah so it's like. That to me is like so we don't have it. Celebrations don't have to look any one way. Just like we talked about fun, we have to define fun for ourselves, we have to define success for ourselves and we get to define celebration for ourselves as well and have that be, you know, whether that's the latte or a big party, or a vacation, or going and getting a party and getting a book. Yeah, great you want, or just self high five.

Kristelle: 28:00

Yeah, I had a big celebration. It was actually funny last night I was like looking through our podcasts and that's when I had message you about our podcast.

Jace: 28:09

At two o'clock in the morning.

Kristelle: 28:11

Yeah, I've been having trouble sleeping from like very much. I've been having trouble sleeping, getting back into the rhythm of things and I pull up an app as I mentioned in our last podcast, totally recovering gambling addict and I looked at my app and I opened it and it's a it's a counting app, like it's called, like I am sober or something like that, and it's made for people that might have a different type of addiction or whatever that might be, but it's just all addictions, right, it does, man. So September 1st 2019 was my first, was my last bet, and it was crazy because I opened up the app and they're like congratulations, you hit four years. I was like how's that now?

Kristelle: 28:54

I hit four years. Like everybody has that oh shit moment when they're about to celebrate and I totally missed my anniversary date. I usually celebrate it, but we were in the middle of the wedding, that I totally forgot. And I giggled because I said usually I'll like I remember when this restaurant Fogo to Shower opened.

Kristelle: 29:13

Oh yeah, I freaking love Fogo to Shower. It's like it's not. It's like a very much a treat for me and I told Spencer one time. I said let's go, and he said really it's expensive, like why? And I said it's my, it's my anniversary.

Jace: 29:31

He goes, no, our anniversary is on August 8th no bitch, my anniversary.

Kristelle: 29:37

That's exactly what I told. I was like no, no, no, the other anniversary. He's like, OK, let's go. Like, and he was totally supportive and excited. And I was excited because you know, little things like that I don't like I don't plan a trip or something. Usually that's a celebration that I do because it makes you. I know that celebrations are supposed to cheer you on and be positive, but it also, like you said, it's that mile marker where you can look back and say where have you come or where have you been Also a very sobering reminder like, don't go back to that either. Like don't go back to that shitty life that you had or shitty mistakes that you made, et cetera.

Kristelle: 30:13

So, yeah, I think you know. So treating yourself during a celebration, I think, is a really is a really good thing to do, especially especially if you're trying to overcome something that was like unhealthy in your life beforehand.

Jace: 30:26

So and it's interesting how things that once were celebration work like. I never celebrate my sobriety anniversaries anymore because I don't put any effort into being sober anymore. It's just who I am.

Kristelle: 30:37

It's just part of my life Same, same, so I'm.

Jace: 30:39

I'm February 2015. So, however many that it won't.

Kristelle: 30:46

Yeah, however many years that it yeah.

Jace: 30:47

It's weird, I never think about it anymore. I get like my phone is like hey girl, and I'll be like cool, thanks. But like I don't celebrate that one anymore because I'm not putting any effort into it anymore.

Kristelle: 30:56

No, no, no, it's your new, it's your new way of life.

Jace: 30:59

Yeah, I don't think about it, and so you know it's like that used to be such a big deal. And then, because for me it's like it's about the efforts, right, never about the numbers. So the efforts aren't there, so the celebration's not there anymore. The celebration now is just that I get to live a cool life and I honor that.

Kristelle: 31:12

So it's funny you said effort right. There was a time in during the wedding planning where I felt like it was absolutely like a very big effort.

Jace: 31:23

And.

Kristelle: 31:23

I think that a lot of people fail to celebrate themselves because of the effort and the journey to get to the celebration Right. And so I remember having a couple of times during this and I'm a I'm a fucking, we've been in business for nine years created it on profit before, like, professionally speaking, the wedding was really challenging. It wasn't hard, it was just definitely very challenging considering some of these little things here and there that would come up and like change the way that we wedding plan right or the plans in the wedding. And I definitely had a moment when I call it the fuck, the shit, I'm done moment where I told Spencer a couple of times I was like I don't want to do this anymore. Like let's go to the courthouse and just give us over with Apparently. There's a drive-through in uphill where you can get married Really and I was like let's go. And I said I don't want to do this anymore, this isn't fun anymore. And he's like that's not OK to say and he's. And I said no, I know. Like obviously this is my stress, that's talking but like there's a lot of things, factors and people that are making this very unfun to plan this big celebration. And there's a couple of times where it felt like it wasn't about us getting married, it was about us satisfying XYZ people.

Kristelle: 32:40

And I can especially studying the wedding industry and other places I'm like, oh, I can very much understand where people lose sight about the love factor, the celebration of love, which is the point of a sacrament of marriage, right, depending on what you believe. And so I thought to myself, like, how many times did I want to give up, right? How many times I want to give up? And planning a celebration? I think that actually deters a lot of people away from like, why should I throw a party? Yes, right. Why should I throw a party for my birthday? Why should I go through the effort? Why should I plan this expensive? Why should I spend money on myself or spend money on other people to celebrate when I just give them what they want? Like, I get that right. But there's, you know, it goes back to, like, the five love languages that we talked about. Some people actually feel loved and feel celebrated by a gift, a physical gift.

Kristelle: 33:36

Some people feel loved by the time that you spend with them or that emotional connection or the physical connection that you give to them, like that's. I think those are things that we take into consideration when it comes to being celebrated, but we don't take into consideration the process to get there, and so people, some people just take the easy way out. I don't recommend it right. Even I remember our first celebration, which is the 365 days of CRSST. That was our one year celebration. I had like pennies in the company make account. I literally asked people to do a beer, a BYOB company party why not? But I called it a networking where you bring a beer to share, bring a six pack to share, boom, make it personal.

Kristelle: 34:21

Make it personal right and people put their names and then they changed beers around Cute, it was great, yeah. And what I giggle about that is when we went through that. It was a lot of effort to plan that party and we were really, really, really broke, but we still did it because it celebrated the team that we started. It celebrated the people around us. We had not as many people as our wedding but damn close, Like all of our family friends went well. A lot of people that were at the wedding were over there too our business colleagues. People just knew that CR's knew how to throw a really great party, Um, and we did like we had.

Jace: 35:02

There's an article over there with us as the life of the party, in fact, that's.

Kristelle: 35:10

Yeah, y'all look good, you look like you're having fun. Yeah, that's our, that's our uh. Vanderpump rules photos worse.

Jace: 35:15

I call it.

Kristelle: 35:16

Yeah.

Jace: 35:18

No, I like this notion and and and pivoting Is totally acceptable, like you're talking about, like this isn't fun anymore. So I was planning my like main birthday part and many little micro celebrate. We did so many things in honor of it. But my actual birthday party was going to be a murder mystery party, which I've always wanted to do. Yeah, and I was like I actually have people in my life now that will do it, that will dress up and we'll play on, play roles and do all of the things. So I'm so I felt like I'm like now's the time I have to do this. I've always wanted to and now I can, so I have to. But the weeks leading up to I just kept feeling resistance. I wasn't excited about planning it.

Jace: 35:57

Back in the day, I used to throw parties and I would spend weeks building sets for them. I would like I threw like weirdly eccentric parties. That's so cool, I loved it, it was so fun for me and I had the time and and whatnot. Yeah, uh, so we would like we would just go all out and it was really fun. And so in my head I'm like I can't foresee this 1920s murder mystery party if I'm not transforming my entire house into a speakeasy. I just couldn't, couldn't get there in my mind and I'm like everything I'm gonna have to do to make this happen.

Jace: 36:25

It was causing me stress. I also was thinking like these people are coming into town, people are taking time off, work, all of this to celebrate me. It has to be something epic, right. And it was causing me so much stress I thought, nope, shut it down. If there's not enthusiasm for me to do this, shut it down. Yeah, plan something else. And also rec. I had to recognize the people that love me, don't want me to be stressed out for their Benefit, like on their behalf, like they're they would. That's the last thing that they would want. We could literally sit in my garage and just shoot the shit and they'd be fine. Yeah, like there was. They were like this isn't for us. It doesn't have to be anything like whatever you want. And so I just changed the plan to do like what would be fun for me. That required very little effort. As soon as stress is in the mix, it's not fun for me anymore. Yeah, and so I had this idea.

Jace: 37:11

Yeah, like my celebration has to look like this. And then I went that doesn't feel celebratory to me, and so I pivoted and ended up having so much more fun as a result.

Jace: 37:21

So the notion of, like, sticking to what's true for us, even if other people are in the mix, even if there's expectations from others. It's my celebration, yeah right, and luckily there wasn't any pushback. But I really am a big promoter of Defining all of this stuff for ourselves, like that's what this podcast is about, right, making sure that we're living life our way, on our terms, so that it can be the happiest, fullest life possible.

Kristelle: 37:44

Sure, and one you know. The other point of the podcast, too, is like Talking about the stories and and how, when we look at what the success looked like or what does that picture Perfect success look like. You know, it's been really fun so far, just kind of reflecting upon some of the conversations that see levels and business owners don't have with themselves and like who, if I, if I could tell myself my eight, if I could tell myself eight years ago You're about to get married and you're going to take two weeks off, like I would be, um, in this constant state of panic and I would say the day after the wedding I'd probably be back to working. I'm very glad that you know 2015 crystals aren't doing those same mistakes and I hope that somebody learns from that same lesson too.

Jace: 38:23

So Speaking of mistakes, we're going to be talking in our next episode about one of the biggest mistakes that new business owners and entrepreneurs make. That often leads to the quick closing Of their business. Oh yeah, I'm really looking forward to that. I hope everyone will join us next time for that as well for sure.

Kristelle: 38:43

So, and that's going to do it for our episode for today, for stories, success and stuff. We talked about micro celebrations, macro celebrations, celebrating in general, pivoting for a celebration, removing the stress out of it. If you enjoyed today's episode, don't forget to subscribe to your favorite podcast channel, social media channel, follow us at CR's of the agency, tell your friends, tell your friends, and tell your friends friends. Um, because we really only have our moms listening at this point. Um, and don't forget to find out more information about us at CR's ofcom. So thanks very much.