Episode 19: Motivation Stagnation

Step into the latest episode of "Stories, Success and Stuff" as hosts Kristelle Siarza Moon and Jace Downey unravel the mysteries of motivation. From cat videos to candid conversations about leadership challenges and personal milestones, this episode unveils the raw, relatable side of staying inspired. 
Uncover the unexpected twists in the pursuit of success and explore why even the most accomplished leaders grapple with moments of uncertainty. If you're curious about the peaks, valleys, and surprising detours on the path to motivation, this episode is a must-listen! 

A Siarza Production
Hosted by Kristelle Siarza Moon & Jace Downey
Executive Producer: Kristelle Siarza Moon
Producer: Jace Downey
Video/Editing: Justin Otsuka

Watch episodes at siarza.com/siarza-podcast
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www.misskristelle.com
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www.jacedowney.com

Transcript

Jace: 0:00

Motivation's fuel and you run out and you have to refuel.

Kristelle: 0:04

I had to tell myself multiple times in the last several weeks. I said you have to give yourself that grace to be okay in a little. Oh, on next episode I'm gonna bring my cat lady mug.

Jace: 0:20

Oh, I thought you're gonna bring your cat.

Kristelle: 0:23

No, I'm very excited.

Jace: 0:24

I was listening to. There's a guy and he just does a YouTube video and then just does singing bowls and it's very nice, and sometimes I play the music before the meditation group and then I just left it going after and all of a sudden, out of the corner of my eye, I saw something across the screen and it was a cat. That his cat, I assume. I don't know, but the cat just came and like sat down right in front of the camera to watch the guy also do and I'm like am I hanging out with this cat now and we're both watching this dude do his singing bowls? And then it was very cute. The cat decided I wanted to go and like sit in his lap and snuggle while he's like doing the bowls. It was very adorable. I never watched it, I always just listened to it, but I happened to see it and I was like aw, this is cute.

Kristelle: 1:10

I am ashamed to admit that videos like that are 90% of our YouTube viewing and my family home, because cat videos apparently are the reason why the internet exists.

Jace: 1:28

Well, I think pornography was the initial plan, but the cat videos really came in strong after that. Yeah, much more family friendly. It's a lot more family friendly. Ha ha, ha, ha ha.

Kristelle: 1:39

Okay, today's episode of Stories, Success and Stuff. We're not talking about cat videos, we're talking about motivation. I'm Crystal Sears of Moon. On the last podcast, I forgot my last name.

Jace: 1:53

I literally forgot my last name, spencer.

Kristelle: 1:54

she's talked about it all day otherwise, this is my colleague that does not forget her last name and she's co-hostess with the mostest, Jayce Downey. Today we're exploring motivation. Motivation and its impacts of the motivation in the middle, on track. I'm fine is something that I say to make sure that I'm motivated. I'm motivated, but I also am stuck somewhere. We love topics that are the serious ones, the ones that are really nitty gritty, but this one, of course, is something very relevant. Breaking news Crystal Sears of Moon has somehow lost her motivation.

Jace: 2:46

Oh is this real or is it gimmick we're doing for the show?

Kristelle: 2:50

Very real, is it? I was like should I have come with a gimmick? Since when does this show become a gimmick? That's what I was like should I have are?

Jace: 2:55

we doing this now? Should I have come with it? I wasn't ready. Yes, you've lost your motivation. Yeah, good, great, that's very relevant. Thank you for doing that for the show, which I assume is what you're doing, because you're very dedicated. So you went ahead and lost your motivation so we could talk about it today.

Kristelle: 3:12

No, it's a real thing. I say that because when we so, our process for the show is we sit down and we say, okay, what topics are we talking about today? What are our key takeaways? What are those stories? And in preparation for today's podcast, I actually had to talk to a leadership trainer that has come in, janice Honeycutt, which I dearly recommend for any person, any CEO that's working that's a very cool name To better her team. Yes, janice Honeycutt, her ring and I, sitting at Rowe's, just about 15 minutes of a walk away, probably less from the office, and I said hey, janice, I lost my motivation. She goes. What do you mean? I said I have always been known as being an incredibly driven individual.

Kristelle: 4:07

I put my mind to it and I do it, and I know that there have been a lot of defeating moments in my leadership recently that have been humbling moments in decision-making that I've made that when it came to those decision-making moments, rather than jumping into the next project, I put a lot of things on hold, or the project is completed and I'm just kind of waiting for the time to pass, for the timing to be right to restart it again and there's a couple of other things. So this is gonna be a long one. So I was even sitting and talking to Janice and I said I did actually not commit to a lot of things because my husband and I were fixing to get married and I didn't want to be emotionally unavailable for the start of our new relationship as husband and wife. So I didn't wanna be working so badly where I didn't enjoy anything and my family being so involved with wedding and all the stuff that I just didn't feel that it was right to continue with new projects.

Kristelle: 5:21

So when it happened September 8th today is September- October 3rd lost my motivation and I'm asking myself what the hell am I doing? And even my motivation for wanting to get married with Spencer and telling him I wanna move forward in our relationship is because I wanted to move on to the next step, which was buying a house, planning our financial future, planning a retirement. We already said no kids, right, because we have our one and only who's the stinkiest, best 15 year old you could ever have? But I don't have any. I'm seriously at a point where I told Janice I said I lost my motivation. I'm terrified to tell my team because I don't want them to lose their motivation for why they're working.

Kristelle: 6:10

I love my nonprofit but there's a little bit of rebuilding that we have to do and it's not my nonprofit, it's the community's nonprofit. And I said I also wanna make sure that we're successful as a team. But I also have gone through pretty much. There's some surprises here and there. I've got there pretty much every rough scenario you could possibly achieve as a business owner and I know the solutions or I know where to find the answer. So where's my motivation? I don't know what to do because I don't know where to find it anymore. And she goes oh, that's normal, yeah, and so that's why I thought this podcast is really potentially good for myself and also for our listeners.

Kristelle: 6:58

We see these really successful business owners from 20 to 30 to 40 years in business families with 40 years in business and it's hard to find. It's hard to see how they haven't lost their motivation. I'll tell you this the good thing is that the people that we have here Jace, julia, justin, danielle, everybody, marissa, amy, everybody that we have here they keep me motivated once I walk through the doors. When I get here, I feel that instant joy of being here. I don't have to worry about the people that I work around. I really enjoy and they bring me back to where my center core is Mm-hmm. But when I'm at home, I'm going where. What do I do next? Mm-hmm. So have you ever been into that?

Jace: 7:49

Yes, all of the things, all of that, and so has everyone else. Yeah, those people that have been in business 40 years, like, how did they not lose their motivation, girl? They did, guaranteed. It's like. You see, you just mentioned marriage, right, and you guys are newly married, but you've been together for many years. You've done a lot of life together. Has every single moment been glorious? And you look at him and he's an adonis and you're like, oh, and he breathed today and everything was amazing, like no, there are times where you're struggling through. You're just getting stuff done together, right, it's like the day to day. That's part of life and it's part of work, it's part of business. And you mean, the honeymoon phase actually goes away. I'm like, but then it comes back right, like if we work for it, yeah, everything comes for free, right, whether this is a relationship and you just think the world of each other and everything's amazing, it comes for free. He's so pretty, he's so pretty, oh, my god, but he breathed. Did you guys hear how he breathed? It's just so amazing.

Jace: 8:50

Or we come into a new project. I love new projects. I've started so many things in my life. Now, when I tell my family about a new project, they're like, okay, that sounds neat, we're not getting attached until a year down the line when you're still doing that thing or whatever. I love new stuff because that rush of excitement and just that ecstasy that comes with creation and all of that, that's a great motivator. And initially you get it for free and then it goes away and you have to work for it, you have to earn it, you have to pay rent on it, and this notion that motivation is gonna last all the way through and keep us going is why a lot of people fail, because they quit, because they've lost their initial reason or their initial fuel let's say Motivation's fuel and you run out and you have to refuel. And there are a lot of different ways to doing that and it usually, for me, does not have anything to do with going back and getting the original motivation.

Kristelle: 9:53

Bring up a good point. So a beautiful meme I also saw was this graph that I saw that was the entrepreneur's journey, or small business owner's journey and it's one of those what everybody thinks it is versus what the reality is.

Kristelle: 10:14

And we make a lot of references to the show the Good Place and Jeremy Baramies. So, as you can see, everybody thinks meme said everybody thinks that a small business owner's journey is just this constant up curve. But really it looks like Jeremy Baramies and so that's what really a small business owner's view of motivation and success and goals and et cetera. And it's just this crooked line where it goes oh, I think I'm going really great, and at the bottom, oh, my god, I want to close tomorrow I'm going to die, it's OK, or why the fuck did they do this? And it's just this constant line. And when you talk about sometimes you just have to find that time to refuel and find that the gas. Again. I had to tell myself multiple times in the last several weeks. I said you have to give yourself that grace to be OK in a little.

Jace: 11:11

Yes, we are coming up on a change of seasons into fall, which we're here. I had to actually put a sweatshirt on for my walk this morning. We are in it. I love autumn, but part of me is starting to already feel sad because then it will be winter and it's not my favorite. No, no, it's not my favorite. And yet we talk about the low Winter is so important for growing. Like so much is happening if we think nature. Like so much is happening underneath ground during winter and it doesn't look like it. So it can be very frustrating in our lives when we're like I'm not seeing any results. I'm putting in effort, nothing's happening or there's nothing to be done. That's my least favorite. When the task is to wait, that's one of the hardest things. And we have this idea that results and success come from constant action. But that's not true at all. In fact, burnout comes from constant action.

Kristelle: 12:09

Yeah, bears hibernate for a reason.

Jace: 12:10

They hibernate for a reason, and everything in nature goes through these seasons, these cycles, in one way or another, and one of them is downtime. So I love that you're bringing this in, having grace with that low point, like a slow point, right when we're just chilling and it doesn't seem like stuff's getting done. But it's such an important part of the process for success, for results. Those buds come in spring because of winter.

Kristelle: 12:38

You talk about seasons. I think what I love about this I know what I love about this is that I'll tell you exactly the metaphor, the image that I face, that I beat myself up about.

Kristelle: 12:51

But, I know to get myself out of that mindset, that negative mindset. So things of the agency are popping, popping. We have some really phenomenal team members, the gears are well-oiled, the team's not in burnout, but the team's in like all right, we got a job to do, y'all, and let's do it. I get by every day going OK, I've got these big tasks and these little ones, and it's like you've heard the circadian rhythm of the body right, I feel like the company circadian rhythm has been going really well.

Kristelle: 13:31

I found myself that I'm struggling my circadian rhythm's off, that I feel like I'm struggling to keep up with the company, which usually companies are. Either the CEO is two steps ahead or the CEO is in lockstep with the company. I feel like I'm two steps behind and I've got to be nice to myself. I've got to be really nice to myself, and I tell the same to any other business owner.

Kristelle: 13:55

You've got to be nice to yourself, because I'm sure that you probably feel that way where you say my team is so good, so good that you don't want to self-destruct them. You just got to let them keep doing what they're doing, let them be on autopilot or let them run at the mile per hour on the auto one, as long as they're not burning out For me. I'm watching in the peripheral a lot now and I'm going, not peripheral, I'm watching them in front of me, not in the peripheral, I'm watching them in front of me and I'm going, oh, they're doing really good. I should probably take a step back and just not be a part of this, because I don't want to mess it up. That's where I'm at with the motivation and I don't think a lot of companies talk company people can talk about that Because sometimes they're constantly in that scarcity, mine city of everything's going to suck or everything's going to fall apart.

Jace: 14:48

Right, the other shoe's going to drop, yeah, yeah.

Kristelle: 14:51

I'm not working if I'm not in a state of panic and I'm like no no, no, no no, don't do that.

Jace: 14:57

No, don't do that. Well, I just shout out thank you for sharing these things that the motivation isn't there in the same way right now, that you feel like your team's in front of you or you're not in step, nobody's talking. Nobody talks about that. No, and I'm that and I understand why.

Kristelle: 15:17

Because you don't want the team to be like well, she's not motivated and I'm not going to be motivated either.

Jace: 15:21

Kind of or like I think about my mom single mom, super badass, incredible person, fantastic mom and I know she felt she had to hold it all together.

Jace: 15:32

I don't think I ever saw my mom cry when I was a kid. She would do that privately because she wanted us to feel safe, that she had it all handled, that she was strong and stable and she was on top of it, which she was. But there's the human side there too that I don't think she allowed herself enough of, which was really unfair, like I feel sad, but she didn't have the support that she was needing. So she held it all together for us so that we wouldn't feel scared Like, oh man, mom doesn't know what's going on. Then panic time right. And I feel like a lot of people in leadership positions have that same sense that they have to always look like they have it together, that they always know what's going on, they always know what the next steps are going to be, that they are just super on top of all of the things, which is understandable, but it's also not realistic, and I really hope that we are moving into a time of reality.

Kristelle: 16:29

I for humans and business. I appreciate I want to reflect back to. They feel like they have to hope, they have to feel like they have to hold it together.

Jace: 16:39

Or appear that they are.

Kristelle: 16:40

Or appear that they are. I'm gonna tell you why that's really relevant, especially for those of you that are interested in actually purchasing a business. That's a really important phrase. Let me put a pin in that for a second Peering like you have to hold together. So for those of you that don't know, one of my ventures or one of my exciting parts of the job is looking at opportunities to grow the company that are untraditional, like mergers and acquisitions there.

Kristelle: 17:07

What people don't know is that I've probably looked at I've said more knows than I have yeses and only one yes, we actually have absorbed a company or acquired a company that did content marketing many wins ago. There is there's always the appearance of looking successful. I have seen more balance sheets. Now, okay, caveat, crs is not perfect. So if you saw our balance sheet, you'd be like she shouldn't be saying this shit, but like we're not perfect. But I know, immediately when there's an agency owner, I look at that balance sheet and I say, oh, they were trying to keep the company together. They lost their motivation. I know when I look at that balance sheet that they held it together for so long that they're at the point of no return and they don't know what to do, and I can see it in their numbers and that's what emerges in acquisition. I don't know if did you ever go through merger and acquisition whenever you were a business owner?

Jace: 18:12

No, I've worked within businesses that have been acquired and that's interesting.

Kristelle: 18:17

And so, and that's like a whole different animal of itself right.

Kristelle: 18:20

The motivation to stay on a team when after it gets acquired painful. But in this instance, I found myself in multiple instances when I looked at this company after looking at NDAs and stuff, and I see the balance sheet and I see where these line items are of like, these owners making a lot of sacrifices, painful sacrifices, I said you know, it's always great to be Robin Hood, but Robin Hood's not necessarily a business owner, right? There's no reason for them to be in that position. So I thought it was really fascinating when you talked about you know what is a motivator and how do you do that. I'll tell you another thing, kind of going back to like how I've been feeling and how motivation plays a part in success.

Kristelle: 19:06

I think that I'm I always used my family as my motivator. I've always used my lifestyle to a certain degree as a motivator. I've learned that belongings are not a motivator to me. I would say probably like in my early 30s I was like the money's great, but I don't really need to have something off of Amazon anymore. You've talked about how much you like.

Kristelle: 19:40

Amazon, I don't really need to have Prime Now here and give me this in two days. I think now that I've said, okay, the money is good, but it doesn't need to be great, and I looked at my family and I'm like I know I need them to survive and I know that I need to work in order for them to survive. But what's my motivation now, when I feel like everything's great with my family? Or if, let's say, for example, something happens with my family, that money doesn't need to be an area of focus, it needs to be more like an emotional state that needs to?

Jace: 20:11

be our focus as a family.

Kristelle: 20:13

And going back to Janice, what was the whole point of me talking to Janice? Janice was like look at your buckets of life. Look at your buckets of life and see what you wanna start working on and what you wanna start filling more. You don't fill one bucket and then you go to the next bucket and then you go to the next bucket. That's not how you accomplish things in life. Right, she goes. I mean, she didn't use this metaphor, but this is the metaphor I thought of when I was talking to her. She's like you fill one at a time, a little bit at a time. Just reset your focus to another bucket and you'll be all right. Oh, okay, I just don't know what that bucket looks like.

Jace: 20:45

Yeah, that's a great point, and having multiple things that we are being energized by oh yeah, right, where we're putting our energy in but we're getting something back from it. And having I think I've referred to this before is like diversifying your time portfolio so that your energies and your days are going to different.

Kristelle: 21:06

Oh, so worth it.

Jace: 21:07

Things, yeah, otherwise, like if it's all one we do burn out and it just becomes like now we're doing this and what you were talking about before. The appearance of having it all together requires so much time and energy that now the motivation is to hide everything. So you appear to be going well, that you've got it, and now whatever you were actually doing before is gone because of the amount of time it takes to hide who you actually are or what is actually happening is unbelievable. I think if we really were able to take like a big view as humans, even for just our own individual lives, and the amount of time we have put into people not knowing who we really are or what we're really going through, it would be mind-blowing. We would have solved every problem in all of existence and created everything possible.

Jace: 21:55

At this point, like I see that in my own life, I'm like, oh my gosh, the energy I've put into that type of stuff. So I really love. I love that you always come on here and you'll share the things that other C positions won't, that you'll bring all of this stuff out, like now to me. I go boom. Now she's just freed up time and energy to put towards things she actually cares about, where she's not having to have this appearance anymore. Then my question becomes if you've you started this company, we'll just keep it here, right this at this company. You started it why.

Kristelle: 22:27

No, I started it because I wanted to continue to create jobs and really change the game when it came to the agency route and in fact, the show filming the show made me realize where we've come right. So at the time in 2014, we were at a point where there wasn't many digital marketing agencies. I mean, you were around around that time, right? I?

Jace: 22:52

was in Austin.

Kristelle: 22:53

Yeah, but even before then you're like I remember your interview. You said, well, there's not a lot of agency jobs or marketing jobs here, specifically in digital. So you're one of the many that left. They're like I want a better opportunity, but it's not here in New Mexico. I got tired of my friends leaving, right, and I was like, oh, I want this here. And then I was bound by the fact that I had a custody situation that made me stay in New Mexico, so I just created the company to be a disruptor not a good total disruptor in the marketing agency, but we still are.

Jace: 23:25

But why do you want to be a disruptor?

Kristelle: 23:26

We wanted. I wanted to be a disruptor because that's what created jobs. I wanted us to be different. I saw what other folks did and I said we can do it better. And it's still my underlying motivation. Not having to figure out how to get it done or finding the resources on how to answer that question, I think was part of the thrill always part of the thrill Like huh, how do I get to a million? I remember thinking that how do you? Get to a million in gross sales.

Kristelle: 23:57

That doesn't mean that you have a million in the bank, sure.

Kristelle: 24:00

I was like, huh, how do you get there? And I figured it out. We're almost there. It's like, okay, well, we will be there by the end of this year, because the forecast said so. Almost nine years ago I didn't even know how to put a damn forecast or a budget together. I put a budget together but it was really sad. It was like a sad panda of a budget. But then, you know, I looked at that and I'm like, oh okay, oh oh, this is how you do it. This is how you create a budget. You put a forecast and now I'm going okay, how do I put a department budget together? Perfect example Justin's gonna have his own first department budget ever, ever. I know how to do it. I might not do it right the first time, it might fail a couple of times, but at least I know how to figure it out. That's part of it.

Jace: 24:47

One of our core values at CRZ that you brought in, of course is community, and you very genuinely have a heart for community and being in service to the community.

Kristelle: 24:58

I don't even think we do enough. I agree.

Jace: 25:00

I agree we can do more, but you as a person, I mean I experienced this when I was at the summit on Saturday how many people you've impacted in this state In all kinds of different ways, in all kinds of different industries.

Kristelle: 25:14

I paid them all to talk to you, Girl. I paid them all to. I will get on that payroll I talk about you all the time.

Jace: 25:20

Just let me know where to sign up for that. But your devotion to community has legs. It's walking around out in this city.

Kristelle: 25:30

People see it and they're all five foot tall and like Asian, just like me they do not.

Jace: 25:34

There was only one Asian dude, actually, and we did talk about the work that you have done for Asians in the state. Oh yeah, thanks, but why do you care about Albuquerque and New Mexico and the business owners in this community?

Kristelle: 25:48

I care because I love, I really love this area. I love New Mexico right, I even love Eastern New Mexico.

Jace: 26:02

Okay, you hear that, Clovis.

Kristelle: 26:04

Yeah, I know I really do. I appreciate you kind of asking these questions because it makes me think I've had even thoughts of oh what if we move and the company expands in a different city? That would be really rad. I don't know if I wanna start over again. I really don't Actually. No, I don't wanna start over again, just plain and simple, right. I don't wanna be abandoned from the people that I care about.

Kristelle: 26:31

Even now I felt bad. I was supposed to go to some of that fun that you were talking about, the summit that you were talking about. I didn't go. Good thing I didn't go because of my health concerns. That happened, but I didn't go and I felt a missing void of well. I wanna interact with people I haven't seen in a long time and I wanna talk to the folks that used to party with me at the press club or we used to hang out back in the day, like it would be an honor to see these people again. So I guess, going back to your question, what are the things that motivate me to grow the company? Oh, sorry, your question was why do you care so much about?

Jace: 27:14

these people.

Kristelle: 27:14

Yeah, why do I care about so much these people? Because I really care about the quality of life to improve for a lot of folks and as a small business owner, whenever you have to cut into your net profit. So that way there's more businesses but there's more people that can receive livable wages, as hard as a difficult challenge that is. I'm glad I did it. Why? Because the greatest joy for me at first was when one of the greatest joys for me was when somebody asked for time off so they can have their baby. And it actually wasn't Justin, right? Justin's the second CR as a kid. Yeah, yeah, his kid is this. No, his kid is the third CR as a kid, right, a kid that was born well.

Jace: 27:56

It's like one was illegitimate and we don't talk about that one. We do pay child support, don't worry.

Kristelle: 28:00

Sorry, cc no no, no, the third kid that was born where somebody had to take parental leave, and the first one was like oh shit, we don't know. We didn't even have a parental leave, we didn't know what to do. And when that had happened, it was such a joy because they knew that they could step away from the company and step away for a minute.

Kristelle: 28:22

I remember one of the other ones was somebody bought their first car under their paycheck and I said, oh, thank God. So yeah, it's motivating for me when I've now. I guess there's a difference, right. It brings me joy when I hear when a staff member says, hey, I purchased my first car.

Kristelle: 28:44

Great kick ass, congratulations this is huge, or I'm about to get married, I'm about to do this. I'm like you found the stability in your life to make that decision and I'm glad that the job was one of them, Because people sometimes don't get married because they can't afford it, they can't afford to be without it, or they get forced into marriages because they're like well, the double income. There's a lot of factors right, when somebody makes a big life decision and it's because the job is stable enough to support it, that makes me feel so good. That's not always motivating though.

Jace: 29:15

Well, and let me tell you why I think that is, and I'm smirking over here because I'm like, oh, you're going to hate the thing that I'm about to say, but let it happen. You talk about the job, making that possible, or the work, and yeah, we are a team and a lot has happened. A lot of people have been support along the way. That's true, credit where credit's due, but I don't see you making the connection that someone got to take several weeks off multiple people have so that they could spend time with their newborn baby and bond, because you created a company and work hard that makes enough money that can pay them to go. Do that. You this is this. I'm sorry, but this is all because of you, your efforts that you have put in consistently over time and I know, not alone, but you actually pay. There are many of us who pay our bills every month because of you.

Jace: 30:21

There are people out in the community whose businesses have grown because of you, who are supporting their families because of you. So I'm going to invite you to make that a little more personal and give yourself the credit. You talk about being nice to yourself, but celebrate it as well. This is really fucking cool that there are people, myself included who get to be out in the world in a safe and stable way because of your vision, your dedication, your efforts that you've put in, your sacrifice, your risk, your boldness.

Kristelle: 30:57

That's really fucking cool. I appreciate that and I'm going to say what you just told me, how I heard it. I need to celebrate the fact that I made this company, because it's fucking cool, and the contributions that I've made in every individual's life. I appreciate that.

Jace: 31:20

I don't hear that often and you don't receive it often. You are not a manager, you're not a boss, you're a leader. So when amazing things happen, you give it to the team. When your efforts come to fruition on a win, you pass it off to the people around you, which is what leaders do. When shit goes wrong, you take that ownership for yourself. But when we're talking about motivation, you allow other people a chance to be in the world as themselves in bold and beautiful ways, and to thrive. You give us that chance. If that's not a cool, motivating factor?

Kristelle: 31:59

Can you see how uncomfortable I am? Yeah, you are.

Jace: 32:00

You're shrinking, and your eyes are cold and I'm like but you've lost your motivation. Look around, you see. You're filled with joy when you walk in the office.

Kristelle: 32:09

Yeah, like Look around.

Jace: 32:11

Okay, look around and not in a prideful way, but be like, oh shit, what will we look like nine years down the line if I keep this awesome going, if I look for what's next in me? Where are we going to be in this time next year when we're celebrating our 10-year anniversary? Where are we going to be 10 years down the line? Who will you have impacted? What lives will you have helped build? I'm sorry, but that's freaking cool.

Kristelle: 32:41

I, yeah, it is. It is really freaking cool. Every year we go through strategic planning and we go through strategic planning. We always looked at five-year goals what's going to happen five years down the line? And some business owners don't, which baffles me. Some business owners don't actually put proformas together and a proforma is a model or forecasting, with the next 10, 5, 10, sometimes three little or long timeframe of what your finances are going to look like as a business, so you can move forward right, and I love that exercise because it looks at the viability of an organization over time. I know how to get there. I'm not going to be there. I hear you.

Kristelle: 33:28

I appreciate the episode of how this has become like. Look, crystal, there's a lot of motivating factors that are around you and they are. They really, really are. I think what has always motivated me with CRSA is the challenge. Spencer hit it on the head a couple of days ago Because, of course, I talked to him about this. I was like I lost my motivation. He's like because you're not challenged anymore, and I said I mean yeah.

Jace: 34:01

I am. You're kind of challenging me right now.

Kristelle: 34:05

And I said no, no, no, I he goes. I think you are just looking for the next challenge to overcome, because you feel like you've done it all and you haven't really found the next hurdle to overcome. There was a time where the hurdle I was most afraid of was a catastrophic financial event that was going to be detrimental to businesses and for us. That was COVID. So once March 17th happened, thank God I went through the activity of mindfulness or knew how to like meditate, because I looked outside the window and I was like, yeah, we're done, our clients are going to go ahead and start canceling. It's going to be a great weekend. I'm going to wash my car.

Jace: 34:49

It was fun. And then maybe park it in the garage and leave it running no, no, no no not even that bad.

Kristelle: 34:55

I was just like I enjoy what I have, but it's going to get pretty bad here. And once we overcame that, challenges again motivation. You know what steps you have to take. You know what you need to do to get it done. You divvy it out to your teams to get it done. And then when it all happened, I was like, oh, it's not that bad, like I thought so you actually grew and we actually grew during COVID, which again very difficult, very difficult, very cool.

Kristelle: 35:21

So, yeah, no, I feel that that the motivation is actually really stemming from the fact that there is not another challenge. I love this team. I love this company. I'm not going to go sell it. I'm not going to go close the doors because I'm not motivated anymore. Sure, Definitely not it. But I definitely feel that the next challenge within CR is going to be the challenge and I'm like all right, I'm ready to do it.

Jace: 35:45

That for me, is a double edge sword. Well, one like the why. That's a big part for me, for my motivation. I'll lose the what I get. I'm like, ah, the what I don't care about anymore. So I always come back to my why, like, why did I want to do this in the first place? That way I don't get stuck too much in the in the day to day. What of it all?

Kristelle: 36:02

Yeah.

Jace: 36:04

But the double edge sword for me is like I too love a challenge. Give me a fight and I'm going to step up, like it's what I'm used to. It's what I'm comfortable with. We talked last time about grieving, because success requires a death of the known, moving into the unknown. And unknown for me is thriving. I don't have a consistent practice of thriving. That's a new part of life for me and I'm not comfortable with it because it's different. It's new. I'm used to always having that next challenge and figuring it out, so much so that I caught myself creating challenges in order to overcome them, because that's my sense of motivation. And so I was creating problems where problems did not need to be, simply because it's my norm.

Kristelle: 36:48

My God, I can't tell you how that's like a big pet peeve of mine.

Jace: 36:51

Yeah, and I wasn't doing it. I just unconsciously was either seeking them out, creating them, making little things into bigger things, so that I felt like I was doing something and I felt like I was comfortable, and you just leave it. I didn't need to do it, yeah, and just sitting in that winter we talked about is part of it, or how we kind of came to be with this episode. I looked at the notes and it was like the on track voicemail.

Kristelle: 37:20

Yeah, I started reading it off. I was like wait a minute.

Jace: 37:22

Yeah, yeah. So I, my best friend there, was like this week where every time he checked in with me he was like, oh, I'm fine, works fine, the relationship's fine, it's fine. And I was like when is this motherfucking on realized, cause he ain't fine, like nothing is fine about this scenario. And he kept saying I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. And finally he goes by the way, jace, when I say I'm fine, I'm not actually fine and I'm like, oh honey, I'm aware of that. Like, yeah, why do you think? I've been trying to check up on you, yeah, and I'm like, I know you're not fine.

Jace: 37:50

And what we came up with instead was I'm on track. Because what he was saying is everything is going as it is intended to go. He's putting in the efforts where they need to be, things are in motion. It's kind of like you said, like there's nothing to be doing but everything's already rocking, like you've set it on autopilot and you set everything up so it could work that way. And now it is, and there's not a lot of like really strong ecstatic life feeling in that, but it also didn't mean that anything was going wrong. It's just that component of when we have a goal and we haven't met it yet and we're not starting it and there's not the challenges of it. We're actually just on track towards the thing we set out to do, and it's not sexy and it's not exciting necessarily than what you anticipated.

Kristelle: 38:42

Yeah, but that even brings like energy with it, you know.

Jace: 38:45

So it's like just like the I'm fine was like. Instead, now we say I'm on track, which means I have nothing cool to report, there's nothing exciting going on, and it's in alignment with the plan I set out for myself. Yeah, it's progressing.

Jace: 39:00

It's progressing yeah like we're rocking, we're going like nothing to check in, but like I think having that conversation and changing our language around success is important. So we recognize that that's part of it too. The just being on track towards something is part of the process and that it's okay to just be in that and that and that maybe doesn't feel very motivating or energizing.

Kristelle: 39:24

Well, and we talk about people a lot on the podcast, to kind of shift for a minute, like you talked about your friend and how you guys communicate, and I worry a lot about sea levels and leaders that feel like they're alone. Right, the common phrase it's really lonely at the top. It's better for me to be at the top because I is what I wanted to be. It can be very ugly whenever you're by yourself at the top or you realize what did it take to get there at the first place, or?

Kristelle: 39:56

was that thing from Thanos where he said what did you have to take to set or what did you sacrifice in order to get here? And he's like everything right. And I think that success that's when it's like oh, is it really success, or is it just really ultimate failure in a different form?

Jace: 40:13

Right Depending on success becomes our ultimate failure.

Kristelle: 40:16

Yeah.

Jace: 40:17

New episode.

Kristelle: 40:18

Well, okay, so I've been on a Marvel kick lately and, justin, you're gonna have to help me out with this.

Jace: 40:23

It's like lately, do you mean like the last few years?

Kristelle: 40:26

Yeah, yeah, like all the time. And so I watched Captain America or Winter Soldier Falcon and the Winter Soldier. I watched that one, but I still refer back to end game, when Thanos was like in the water by himself and he asked the question what did it take to get here? People forget the halo effect of people when it comes to motivation. Same thing here. What does that mean? Same thing here. I'm gonna use the metaphor of me walking in the door and I get really motivated whenever I see people here.

Kristelle: 40:58

It's in fact in our about us video and I'm walking into the doors of the office by myself, because, at the end of the day, it's the people. I even said Justin, the only thing's missing from this video is the people. Even if they're not going to be here Now, the right, it's the people. The halo effect of people to me means motivation is when you can celebrate with people, challenge your motivation with people, have the people tell you about your successes and where you've come and where you've been, just like what you did, and I again greatly appreciate it.

Kristelle: 41:33

But you're part of the halo effect of motivation, right, he can't really be motivated if you're not around the people that motivate you. And I say that because I've been at home working alone because I want to be more productive. Or I say that I'm more productive and Spencer's like you're not more productive because you, I'm always distracting you. That's what he said. I've been struggling with my motivation because I haven't been around you guys a lot lately. Or I've been struggling with my motivation for other projects because our team of teams left with ABC, because we ran out of funding.

Kristelle: 42:12

I struggled with motivation whenever I don't have the people I need around me the halo of people around me, and that's where I even struggle with wanting to accomplish more, because I don't get to see people or I'm like, oh, it's too hard for me to go to like a networking event because it's just a cross town, so I'm just gonna go home and it's not gonna affect our bottom line or anything like that. But the people, the people play an important part of motivation. You've said it all, even with your friend, right? If you don't check in with somebody to see how they're doing, then what's the point? What's the point?

Jace: 42:47

I am with you a thousand percent the thing. For me it's ideas as well, when I think of the life I want to live. Maybe I don't have that life just yet, but I hold a really strong vision of what I want that to be. And then my question is who do I need to become to live that life, and what can I be doing today to do that?

Kristelle: 43:14

So, from my motivation, what is it gonna take to be on a boat with your dogs for the rest of your life.

Jace: 43:20

Do you ask yourself that all the time? I don't wanna be on a boat for the rest of my life.

Kristelle: 43:24

No, I never ask that. Okay, what is your motivation? What does that image look like for you?

Jace: 43:32

It has changed a lot over the years and I'm in an interesting place. So I'm leading a self mastery intensive right now, a 12 week program, and our first week was around obstacles and I said come ready to talk about the things you think are blocking you from being the person you wanna be living the life you wanna live. So if I say it, I have to do it. That's my rule. It's a very stupid integrity thing I set up initially.

Kristelle: 43:58

No, no, no if I task somebody a job, I have to make sure I wanna do it first.

Jace: 44:01

Well, yeah, or I'm like, if I yeah, you don't wanna task somebody you don't wanna.

Kristelle: 44:06

tell somebody to do something you don't wanna do, I get it Well yeah, anyway.

Jace: 44:09

Yeah, if I talk it, I walk it. That's my rule. So I started looking at, like, what are my obstacles? And I looked at my life right now and I thought, well, this isn't the life that I want to be living. And I almost went into panic mode and I'm like whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, pause down, pause down, jace.

Jace: 44:23

I set out last fall with my priorities being stability and structure, not sexy. And I've lived as a nomad for the last few years and I've moved a lot and I've lived a lot of different styles of life in my time and even before that I've kind of been an unconventional person in general, and so I'm like, okay, cool, we know how to do that, we know what comes with that. It's a lot of starting over and I'm really at a place where I want to not just be going, you know, here, here, here, but actually have a foundation I can build up from, and that requires staying in the same place. Stability and structure is my friend calls it sticking power like I need to practice that. It's a good term, yeah. And so I set out with the goal to build stability and structure into my life. And so when I had that panic moment of like this isn't what I and like it's not exciting, and so I was like this is literally what-.

Kristelle: 45:12

You gotta give yourself that grace.

Jace: 45:14

Well, like this is what you set out to do. And guess what? My life is Stable. What do I have? Structure? Who's around me? People that are really good at being adults. All of a sudden, I'm like how am I surrounded by so many people who are great at adulting? Like I got all these?

Kristelle: 45:26

grownups around me. Now, I'm sorry, I'm really like a teenage girl.

Jace: 45:31

I'm like yes, a mix of so many things. Some of that is a younger space. My therapist used the word recently that I have a high level of disinhibition, and I just burst into laughter what she says. You have a really high level of openness, which I'm like thank you very much, I worked hard for that. It's a real stupid trait. I don't recommend it. And disinhibition, and I was like tell me more, like love this phrase and it's true because I'm like, oh, I'll try that, oh, I'll do that. I've never done that before. Oh, I've never gone over there. Sure, like I'm like a yes to life, which is an awesome quality, but also it means I don't actually move towards what I want. So things have shifted and as I've moved into more of that safety stability structure, could you see the hamster going?

Kristelle: 46:15

Yeah, I was like I hope something's going to come.

Jace: 46:17

Process that, yeah, ok, we're going.

Kristelle: 46:19

OK, that's what the hamster was going to be.

Jace: 46:21

She was talking about if somebody were to be on a second date and that person would be like, hey, for our third date, do you want to go to Brazil? The healthy response is no, you're a stranger, I don't know you. I was going. Oh yeah, I'd fucking do that. And she's like disinhibition, it's like, oh, I see, I see what you mean here, because I was like it's a new experience, sure, I'll do that.

Jace: 46:44

So, anyway, my vision for my life has shifted where it was once really grand, and then I recognize that if I want to do any of that, I'm going to have to be the person that's able to do that, that's able to have sticking power and be around and actually follow through with things and have that stability and whatnot. So, though I would say I live a much smaller life right now than I would have agreed to a few years ago, I'm on track for what I want to do and for me in that, and especially having more time in one place, developing different relationships, having that community and all of that I've really realized. For me, I want to participate in people becoming their true selves and to be really psyched about who that is. It's the silent revolution, like actually liking who you are is a game changer.

Jace: 47:37

It's a total game changer and then moving through the world as a person who really enjoys who they are and they're not having to try to indirectly meet their needs from all of these ways that are not effective. Those are some pretty powerful fucking people and I really think we all are essential in our own ways, and when we lose that either because people legit die that kill themselves or just live these lives where they're not in their actual selves we all miss out. And so my motivation I just want to wrap the whole wide world up and make sure everybody knows that they're loved and lovable and help them get to that place themselves.

Jace: 48:17

Yeah, you're a nurturer, right, I wouldn't have agreed with that a while back. But yeah, it just looks different. I'm not maternal, but I realize I just want to be everybody's auntie, like I want to be Auntie Jace to everybody in the whole wide world.

Kristelle: 48:32

I love aunties.

Jace: 48:32

yes, no, that makes sense I'm a nurturer in an auntie sense.

Kristelle: 48:37

The last one I'll make before we wrap up the podcast, I think, talking about motivation, everybody, especially for us, type A's, goal setters, et cetera Even though it's been really uncomfortable to lose this motivation that I usually have, I think what's part of my brand of Crystal Sierza Moon, if you will, is every reason oh, she's a goal setter and she goes after whatever goal that she wants to achieve. I don't feel that I have a goal, and I realized it while I was sitting on a finance meeting with Ed and I said, oh well, that's it. And he goes what do you mean? That's it? I said, oh sorry, he was talking about finance managers and he was talking about how financial managers only work with you if you have a certain financial goal that you want to achieve. And I said, oh, that's it. I don't have any goals anymore. It was a goal to get married, like I remember Check. I mean, it wasn't, it didn't need to be a goal, I wanted it to be a goal.

Jace: 49:44

But now you've done it.

Kristelle: 49:45

Yeah, and I had this checklist of things I wanted to do by certain times in my life. I wrote it down for a guy that I was dating and I kept it. And I'm very fucking glad I kept it, because I went back and I said I'm going to go back to it tonight. Now that I think about it.

Jace: 49:59

Yeah, I was just going to say that.

Kristelle: 50:00

Yeah, it's a great way. So it was one year, three years, five years, 10 years, 20 years, and I said I wanted to own a house, I wanted to be married, I wanted to have a company, because at the time I didn't. I wanted to be in like service to other people and I wanted to have another animal and maybe have another kid, which unfortunately my health doesn't allow for me to have that. And I was like, looking at it and I'm like, oh, I don't have a goal anymore. I, thinking about it, like I was talking to Ed, I was like, oh, I don't have a goal, like most couples do, which is why they go to financial planners in the first place. They want to have a goal, they want to achieve it and they're asking the financial planner how to achieve that goal. And I'm like I don't know what. I'm actually OK with the fact that I don't have a goal anymore. I'm wandering life, I'm meandering life, or meandering like.

Jace: 50:48

Yeah, you can meander life. Yeah, I can meander. I love a good meander.

Kristelle: 50:50

Yeah, and that's what I'm doing right now, and while it's uncomfortable, I'm not unhappy. That's why this is so new for me, and by not having a goal, I'm not motivated to see where else things go. The company has goals and I'll help the company get there, obviously, but that's why I think that's where I'm at and I don't think all of us have enough time to reflect on what actually puts us where we want to be. It's kind of fascinating, I don't know?

Jace: 51:23

And can we be comfortable when we are no longer operating within the identity we set up for ourselves, when we've outgrown it? Yeah, and now the question. You don't have a set goal. You're working towards, you're not in that striving action which you're used to. And then the question becomes do you still feel and recognize your worth and value even in that which? For you, I know you do, but with something we always have to ask ourselves, and I know we're going to talk about identity on an upcoming episode in the way that plays into success. But it sounds like you've accomplished the things you set out to accomplish. The identity that you had set for yourself is done, and now it's time to allow a new version to come forth. Yeah, and what will that be?

Kristelle: 52:12

Like the moon and the stars.

Jace: 52:14

Indeed yeah, and let that be revealed and we don't have to hang on to what was, because it's already part of you. Now, Now who you are gets to go into the next chapter, which is scary and uncomfortable and super awesome. And it's super awesome and I'm glad you're going to do it on camera with us right here on. Stories Success and Stuff yeah.

Kristelle: 52:32

No, I was going to say here's our powder puff girl moment. We just had it and I'm very grateful for you to be on the podcast with me, and thanks to a ton of our listeners for constantly telling us how we're doing, how blunt we are, how blunt we are and always my thanks to Justin for producing this awesome podcast. That's going to do it for us. If you missed an episode in the past, go to our Spotify channel, go to the Bruzzsprout, go to our YouTube channel, go to our website Even better.

Kristelle: 53:02

With our entire collection of Stories, success and Stuff, and don't forget to subscribe and follow us on your favorite social media channel. You can find out more about what we do at CRSAcom and, most importantly always, thanks to our moms. Thanks, to our moms for always listening to this and we're so grateful. Our next episode topic will be identity. It will be identity. I just set the agenda for the next topic. And most importantly, thanks for being with us and we'll see you soon. Bye.