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Stories, Success & Stuff
Watch episodes at https://www.siarza.com/siarza-podcast
A Siarza Production
Hosted by Kristelle Siarza & Jace Downey
Executive Producer: Kristelle Siarza
Producer: Jace Downey
Videographer/Editor: Justin Otsuka
Stories, Success & Stuff
Episode 38: Our Final Chapter
OUR FINAL EPISODE!
As the sun sets on one chapter of our podcast, we welcome the dawn of another with open arms and reflective hearts. Today's episode is a tapestry of farewells and fresh starts, a celebration of Jace's and Kristelle's journey together and the anticipation of what lies ahead. We're raising a toast to the memories and milestones that have shaped our narrative, and as we turn the page, we invite you to join us in asking "how will I know I lived a good and successful life?"
It's an intimate look at the emotional fibers that bind us and the imprints we hope to leave behind. Jace and Kristelle don't shy away from the weighty topics of mortality and the echoes we wish to resonate through time; instead, we face them head-on with a blend of humor and sincerity that feels like a chat among friends.
We shed light on the nuanced textures of relationships and the power of shared experiences. As we close this session, we extend an invitation to you, our listeners, to ponder the narrative of your own life's journey. Join us as we share these personal reflections and welcome your participation in the ongoing conversation of Stories, Success & Stuff.
A Siarza Production
Hosted by Kristelle Siarza Moon & Jace Downey
Executive Producer: Kristelle Siarza Moon
Producer: Jace Downey
Video/Editing: Justin Otsuka
Watch episodes at siarza.com/siarza-podcast
Follow us on FB, IG, TT, YT and TW @siarzatheagency
Follow Kristelle @kristellesiarza
www.misskristelle.com
Follow Jace @jacedowneyofficial
www.jacedowney.com
It's the end of an era. I always, I'm always like the women from Sex and the City you leave the party when it's still popping. You never want to be the closed down crew.
Speaker 2:Oh, I'm like the throw the party type of, do I? One of those is that. Is there a reference in there for that? No, unfortunately I wasn't a fan of the show.
Speaker 1:No, so this will be the last episode. It will be. Congratulations on your success, thank you. Jace is going to be leaving Sierza, and we wish her nothing but the best. And not only do we wish her nothing but the best, we're incredibly supportive of this new role that you're going to be taking. I'm not going anywhere, never. Uh, I'm not going anywhere, um I'm not going anywhere um justin's not going anywhere?
Speaker 1:um, at least I hope not um justin will be doing a whole monologue in the post credits, by the way. Uh, so he can finally get that, that video time that scream time he's always wanted yeah, um, you know there's there's a couple different factors that we thought about story success and stuff. Um, the original show was designed with crystal siarza, moon and friends. At the time it was crystal siarza and friends so much has happened yeah, so much has happened um. This has been a really emotional way to kind of preserve my memoirs, I guess.
Speaker 1:It sounds so weird and to share Jace's talents on multiple different ways. It's kind of like Netflix, though. They always like to change up their content and they always like to provide viewers with different angles and different stories and different actors and different scenes. So we are taking a step back, but I just didn't feel I personally didn't feel that story, success and stuff could continue without you, and especially on your new journey. I wanted you to completely focus on your new journey, and CR also focuses on just pivoting the content in a different way. So I wanted to give you your thoughts on our last episode and I'll close it out from here, but any thoughts on today's episode.
Speaker 2:I love this episode. It's actually one of my favorite episodes that we did. It certainly got me thinking. I hope it'll get you all thinking as well, and that this will be a question you answer for yourselves, as we did for ours.
Speaker 2:And as I look at my time here my time with you and and the team I am, I feel confident that I that I led a good life here and that it was it was. It came in at the perfect time for me in my life, and this podcast has been such a blast and what a weird and unique experience to get to do a podcast with the CEO of your company and learn so much about you on a personal level, from your vulnerability and your transparency, which you've been so dedicated to, that so many people in your position would be terrified to do. So I really commend you for your willingness to do that, to speak on things that other agency owners, other CEOs, just never would. I know that the audience has appreciated it as well, and this is one of my favorite episodes that we've done, so I hope you guys enjoy it For sure.
Speaker 2:And just a personal thank you to you for letting me do this, to Justin for always making it absolutely incredible and a total blast and, of course, to the viewers and the listeners who have allowed us to to come be our wacky, wonderful selves here every week.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, and Jace has brought a level to the show that has been not only authentically herself, um, but you've brought, as many people have told me, she's the voice of reason that I didn't realize I needed, um. So, just with the way that your approach, with the, the sassiness, the excitement, the failures, the successes, um, I will miss that very much. The show will very much evolve, though. Some really exciting news on CR's front Just because the episode won't be filming any new episodes, we definitely intend to keep it up, especially since there's such good content that's out there because of it and you can never not say the phrase oh, there was an episode for that.
Speaker 2:That's right, we have an episode for that we have an episode for that.
Speaker 1:That episode will still be on air, which is great, but this will kind of evolve into just a one-on-one conversation with other guests in telling their stories as well. So really I would say it's Stories, success and Stuff, part 2. And so that will be released later this summer with the help of Justin and, obviously, the rest of the team in the community at heart. But thank you all. So so so much for your support of Stories, success and Stuff. Don't forget to subscribe to any of our previous episodes or listen to any of our previous episodes or listen to any of our previous episodes on your favorite podcast channel. They will still continue to be up. It's also on YouTube and Sierrascom. So thanks very much.
Speaker 3:Hi story, success and stuff. Viewers and listeners, I'm Justin, your videographer, editor and audio technician. According to Jace, a lot of people, a lot of people have said they'd like to see me on camera and not just hear my occasional piece of dialogue in the background. So here I am on our final episode. Before we get to the show, there's something that's been on my mind for a long time now Months Keeps me up at night Something I've always wanted to say, and now I have the platform to say it. This is my chance. A few months ago, crystal quoted Thanos saying, when he was talking to a young Gamora quoted Thanos saying, when he was talking to a young Gamora, that he sacrificed everything and it cost him everything. She said that this line was from the movie Avengers Endgame. That's incorrect. It was actually Avengers Infinity War. So I'm sorry that she lied to you all and I hope you enjoy our final episode of this show. Thank you.
Speaker 1:I wish 80s and 90s music. Nope, I wish 90s and 2000s hip-hop music would have a resurgence.
Speaker 2:It never left. What are you talking about?
Speaker 1:resurgence, oh are you kidding me? Have you heard rap music? Now? It's like trash, yeah, no like. And I and I say this because you said something keep it right, keep it tight. Yeah, and technically I said toy toy. Yeah, yeah, like that was that was the 90s in my head, going like the name of the song was miss.
Speaker 2:Booty, that was a song, so in today's episode on Stories of Success and Stuff.
Speaker 1:we're going to talk about life. We're going to talk about life and having a successful life and if it feels like you have to have a pimp ride with a pimp mansion and some gold chains, you do you boo.
Speaker 2:Is that appropriation of pimp culture at this point? No, not necessarily. You could pimp your ride. Is that appropriation of pimp culture at this point? No, not necessarily. No, you could pimp your ride. Is that still allowed?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think so. Okay, yeah, that's called customization.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay.
Speaker 1:Still allowed. Oh, you didn't know this about car culture, homie.
Speaker 2:I was like I have stickers on mine, Does that count? Yeah, yeah, I have like nature outdoors.
Speaker 1:Oh, I've ripped out like my radio deck and rewired it and, yeah, like created a heart attack with my husband.
Speaker 2:It's great yeah, oh, okay, it's customization. Speaking of heart attacks, yeah, so how? Do you know if you've lived a good life? It's the question we ask all of our guests at the end of their interview. Uh-huh, when you are about to die, we phrase it differently, but let's, we all know that's what we're asking yeah, we're not catastrophizing here no, when you're on your, your deathbed, if you're in your last moments, how will you know you've lived a good life? What elements are essential for you for that? How will you know it's.
Speaker 2:The time has come, it's our time to answer the question yeah, I think it's time to answer the question.
Speaker 1:I I uh the unfortunate thing about being a catastrophizer struggling with constantly thinking like am I gonna die, am I not gonna die?
Speaker 2:what is it? You absolutely are. Yeah, I mean, we are. When are you gonna die?
Speaker 1:spoiler alert yeah, yeah so we're all dying I and I I always used to say to myself like I have to make sure that whatever I do is great and I'm gonna live with that high expectation because I might be gone tomorrow. Right, that's a catastrophizing type of way of thinking, sure.
Speaker 1:Even my anxiety is just thinking about it like oh my God, I'm catastrophizing again Something I'm working on. So I would say that I always think about, when I die, what's going to. It's kind of like what do people say about you when you're not in the room? What are people going to say when you're at the funeral?
Speaker 1:or like whenever they're thinking about you, like two or three or four or five years after you've gone. Yeah, like I think about family members that have just passed on and I just think about the great memories, as long as you can reflect on good memories, as you live with certain people and and how how you've. Nobody cares about how much money you made, nobody cares about what you have done for them in a, what you bought for them, etc what items you know they don't care about.
Speaker 1:They'll care about the will and then, after that's done, they'll forget about it. Right, or they'll be upset or painful or in pain about what the will is, but they'll usually forget about all the bullshit of the will.
Speaker 2:I'm thinking of mine right now. I'll be like will you forgive me, I had nothing to leave you.
Speaker 1:Will you love me, because I do love you, will Like right, I'm just kidding, so you know. I think you know thinking about that phrase like what does the end look like? Or how do you really want them to be your friends or your family?
Speaker 2:like that's not cool, right I feel like we're like you're like a married woman with the child and you own a business and stuff, and like we are at very different stages of life, even though we're almost the same age. Yeah, I've never thought about any of that stuff. Don't, don't. Like, don't panic, like, please, don't in a panic way, but and my sister is an attorney, yeah, and she gets on us all the time that we need to have some of our paperwork.
Speaker 2:Not so much me, because I don't have kids, I don't own a lot. I'm like who wants Luna Rae she's a real pain in the ass. Like who's wanting a 1972 refurbished travel trailer. That's my like single possession.
Speaker 1:It's not a person that I'm giving away in my will, don't worry uh but, but she does get on but I've never thought like oh, people are gonna be upset that like, because I'm I, I don't like, I don't, I'm like, oh, we're straight.
Speaker 2:No, I don't want to stress out about it. It just never occurred to me to think about it families.
Speaker 1:well, I experienced this a lot, yeah, especially with my in-laws, right like, and I have nothing but great things to say about them. But at the end of the day, the conversation about wills, estates, what's left behind, yeah, and then you have my family. That's like memories and quality time together and laughter and stories and jokes. That's what when you know you lived a good life is, when you have an encyclopedia of really good and bad memories of people, you know.
Speaker 1:I always said there was a time, you know time, you know where. I said like, oh, I want to leave a really strong legacy like I really want our company to have a strong legacy that it might be justin's kids or donyale's kids or marissa's kids or your kids, if you I know you said you don't have kids, but like I don't know, but like I wanted other people to be like, they'll always remember cr's and no matter the iteration of the company I realized like no it doesn't really matter now.
Speaker 1:Like this revelation happened, like very recently for me, like, who gives a shit about how many stories there are with your name on it? Who gives a shit about how much you paid somebody, somebody, they'll. They're going to remember you for how they felt, of how you made them feel, or how you inspired them, or how you mentor them, or how you made them, um, have an advance in life or disadvantage in life, whatever that might be. You, just you remember the people, right, and so that's why I always said I I like recently went through this where I said you know, chris will lay off the fact that you need to build an empire right yes, you want to build an empire because you want to be ambitious, you want to be focused.
Speaker 1:I want I finally got that motivation back you don't be that local yeah, like building the empire is a good empire, but I don't want to be remembered by the empire. I want to be remembered by the people that that worked beside me, that loved me and the people that I love.
Speaker 2:So do you know, I've noticed that as a running theme when we ask this question and I get to have a little bit more of a chat around it sometimes in my pre-interviews that I do with folks and the common theme is indeed people and relationships, which we have touched on in different capacities here as well, and the same is true when people are on their deathbeds and they're like, oh, they're looking, looking back at life. It does come down to the relationships and the people component of it. I love the, an encyclopedia of memories like. I love that so much that, just like the other day so I run a morning meditation group and we've been doing it like for like four years now, started during the pandemic. Um, this is online and one of our members is an elder, very much up there in age, and he has had this ongoing project where he's writing down the family history. He's been doing this for two years like and he talks about it and he has mentioned many, many times that he is the last, like the oldest member of the family still alive. He's the last one of the generations until you know his kids and the kids kids and whatnot and whatnot I hear about all the time, but all of a sudden, two days ago, it occurs to me that, being the youngest of my siblings, it is possible that they'll die before me and it'll just be me and I'll be in a world without my sisters.
Speaker 2:Nope, nope, don't. I don't know why. That's never occurred to me. And all of a sudden, I'm like I want to be without my sisters. And we don't always get along. We're very different people. But I started crying on camera Not just here, but I'm an easy crier these days and I texted my sisters. I'm like'm an easy crier these days and I texted my sisters. I'm like, guys, I just realized you're gonna die and that like it's. You know, it's possible that like I'll be the last one and like there's something so significant about the people that go through our lives with us, that witness our lives, and the lives that we get to witness Like that's.
Speaker 2:I have found one of my greatest honors in getting to be super close with people, have really good friends. The more open I've become, the more willing people have become. To be open with me and to truly get to witness a life is one of the biggest honors of all time and like our siblings do that. They're there from the beginning. They know all the weirdness from childhood and and even though if you talk to my sisters, you would think we all came from different homes and different like upbringings, because we just received the world so differently. But the fact that they we've we've shifted um like where my family respects me, yeah, and they rely on me and they respect me and like they actually they're like oh, let's, let's call jace for this, she can help or she'll listen. Um and going from like the mess yeah that I created in my life?
Speaker 2:yeah, just selfishness and like all of the self-righteous, judgmentalness and everything, like the fact that people really know me. They actually know me, I'm not hiding anymore, yeah, and that I really know them, and that there's love and respect and admiration there and that my the people close to me love and accept me and they see me fully like to me. If I died today, you could be assured I did lead a good life, I'd be fine.
Speaker 1:I started to think that, and thank you for sharing that is as deep as that is, thank you. I started to say that about myself too, that if I was gone tomorrow, I fucking crushed it.
Speaker 2:So long as you didn't get crushed, just because that'd be a real messy death. I always think about who's got to clean that up. Yeah, when I watch action movies and stuff and there's just fucking violence and bodies, I'm like y'all know, somebody's got to roll through and be the cleanup crew for this shit.
Speaker 1:You know what's really unfortunate. I am that person that's like I know exactly who needs to be called, I know where that's going to look like it's a matter, et cetera, like the people that have to do that.
Speaker 1:I mentioned this before that I'm rewiring my brain a lot recently to stop thinking of the most horrific disaster in every situation. Yeah, and so it's just this abnormal way of thinking that has really started to like wreck my life and wreck my relationships. And but there was a time where I said, if I died tomorrow, I know I lived a good life and I still stand by that right, I live every day like it's my last. But then I started to feel like if I died tomorrow, my husband would be fine, my kid would be fine, would I remarry, if something? If Spencer was gone, I would need to spend every single minute with Jonathan as much as possible, because what if he was gone? I would need to spend every single minute with Jonathan as much as possible, because what if he was gone?
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Right, we've had misfortunes and unfortunate situations of kids passing away at 18, 19, right In my, in my outer ring of family members, and my my mom going through her health care, my dad going through you know of you know going through her health care, my dad going through you know getting older, et cetera. I've really taken this long and I guess, like I know, that the theme of today's episode is how do you know that you lived a good life? But I also I want people to know what I've started to go through recently, which is stop thinking about death in a way where you're starting to plan for it because you forget what's in front of you and you really start to rip apart the relationships that you have because you're so used to it being catastrophically ruined. And I said that because, like I would be fearful, like Jonathan, driving would be really difficult for me to swallow.
Speaker 2:The fact that we let teenagers drive is terrifying to me as an adult. On the road, yeah it is.
Speaker 1:But the kid needs to drive like there's no doubt about it. Right, he wants his own life, he wants to become an adult, he wants to start learning how to how to be independent, and he absolutely should. It's part of it and and so, anyways, like I really started to direct my relationships where it was really depressing that everything, and even my therapist, was asking like when did this start to get bad?
Speaker 3:and I thought Anyways like.
Speaker 1:I really started to direct my relationships where it was really depressing and everything. And even my therapist was asking, like when did this start to get bad? And I thought it was the wedding, because I was like I have a great thing and I really lived like I checked off everything I wanted to do. I accomplished a lot of the things. I'm married now. I have a successful, you know relationship Good, bad and ugly of it all and I'm like, okay, I'm good, right, yeah, and I didn't know where to go from here. And and then all of a sudden I was like, well, if we die tomorrow, I lived a good life.
Speaker 1:And then that was subject matter a and b and c and d and e and I, I, I was really miserable yeah, I was really, really miserable, ripping that whole whole thing apart, in fact, when we were doing one of the interviews with a guest and I asked that question how do you know you lived a good life? I almost wanted to ask that question, because I was too depressed to ask the question to begin with.
Speaker 1:So you know it is what it is right Like. We look at the people that we have in front of us and sometimes you and I wrote this on my Facebook page. I said when times are tough, you love harder you. You hug harder, you love harder, you strive harder. And that's what I realized is a better approach rather than panicking about whether or not my husband was going to be alive tomorrow yeah, well, we talked about the, the flip side of success, that that isn't shared about.
Speaker 2:So if you guys missed that, it's in our grieving success episode and you know, when you've checked everything off, then it's like what the fuck am I doing now? And that's such a such an excellent point that like there's. Then it's like cool bucket list complete, I can die. Now it's all extra and that's something like this is gonna sound kind of weird, but but in 10 years, like a couple months from now, I'll be celebrating my 10-year anniversary of not committing suicide and not going through with my plan to end my life and a really weird benefit to come out of that. Like I already thought I'd be dead by now. So I've gotten 10, like bonus years.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So it's like every I don't fear death ever and I do think about and like I come from a weird family. So we talk about, um, like my running joke. We were like you know everybody's talking about like what they want to be done with their remains and cremated or whatever, and I was like I'd like to be stuffed, yeah, and just have like a, a full adult sized version of me that you guys transfer to your houses for different holidays and stuff. Yeah, um, I don't actually want that, I don't think, but it'd be fun. We're pranksters, like we all have weird pranks to have happening at our funerals and whatnot. Um, we're just a sick family, but so we do talk about it and I have no, no qualms with death yeah and that's such a a gift that past me gave current me where I can think about those things.
Speaker 2:And some of you talked about legacy. I had this notion for a good long while that if I didn't make huge, like monumental impact in the world, why did I even come here? Like then, what would the point have been? And for me it was like it was like that black and white thinking. It's got to be like really big to matter. And I've really that's been a shift I've made within the last couple of years when I really started looking and listening especially working with people in, you know, addiction recovery and self-mastery and things like that and watching the shifts that have happened.
Speaker 2:Uh, just being friends with people for a long time and the impact that they share with me I've had, I realized like I've done my job, I've. Yeah, it's like I don't, I don't. It doesn't have to be millions of people, it could. If I was done, if that was it, I only impacted the people I've impacted. On this day, that would have been enough because it's exponential, right. Then they're impacting people, or one person I've worked with for a long time. His wife has been. She's always like when there's a change, she'll be like "'Jace, jace had something to do with this". And I've gotten to meet her and she's super cool. And then that impacts me. We never know what impact we're having on the world.
Speaker 2:And I've come to say for myself I don't care very much if it's big. And that was a hard thing. Then I was like then what's my purpose? And I kind of went through the same thing you did where you're like I've checked all the boxes, now what? And I'm like, if I'm not here to monumentally shift the ways of mankind, then what am I here for? And it came down to like fun. Yeah, to enjoy, like when in Rome, right. So if I'm going to be in the human body and out here on earth and in the world and whatnot, then I want to do as the humans do. I want to eat everything, I want to dance to every song, I want to have the heartache, I want to do all of the possible things, I want to have all of the experiences and live as many types of life as possible when I'm here, as many types of life as possible when I'm here.
Speaker 1:It's funny how you mentioned that you feel like you and I are in different places in the world. I haven't even thought of 10% of what you thought of at all. I you know stories, success and stuff was. Is was created upon this feeling of Crystal. What you asked me, crystal, what do you want to do with this podcast? And I said I want to tell my stories, right? And you said well, what's your purpose in life? And I said to create jobs and help people.
Speaker 2:I think technically you said create people and help jobs.
Speaker 1:I'd create people and help jobs Sure damn did. Sure damn did. But to even think as philosophically and as you always think, of yourself in a higher being, which I think is so impressive, so impressive about you? I don't. I don't think about myself in that fashion, and I think it's because I have really focused on making sure that I'm the task taker and the task completer. I might not do it in time, I'll get it done, it's going to happen.
Speaker 2:All right, y'all Give it a little slack, it's going to happen.
Speaker 1:And you know I'm the task taker, I'm the mission setter. Somebody said about me once as long as I know that Crystal has her hands on the project, you know what's going to happen. It's been incredible to hear that in previous years, and I know that when I'm gone, like people are going to say that too.
Speaker 2:That's cool, she got shit done.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but sometimes not on time. But I got them done and I think I have just lived a life of driving, not pulling over and watching the sunsets as often as I'd like to. Yeah, and I don't know. I don't know what life will be in front of me. Me, I just know that with every question that we answer to a guest and as great as it is, sometimes the happy, the unhappiest endings are not, um are not what I anticipated, and I'm okay with that right I'm okay with just like.
Speaker 2:Hey, I'm here acceptance is a big part of happiness. Actually, ed is a master, yeah, at that of just accepting things as they are. I'm being surprised in live action right now that I have a voice in my head that's saying you aren't done yet. It's actually saying you ain't done yet, girl, because my voice inside is very sassy. I just hear it you ain't done yet.
Speaker 2:If it was like, boom, this is your last day to live, jace, I'm going to backtrack what I said on my backpedal, I do have.
Speaker 2:I would have a single regret, and you'd mention it like you have your husband, you have your family, you're in this successful, beautiful relationship which and you guys have gone through so much of your growth together and things like that and you guys have gone through so much of your growth together and things like that I will feel sad if I have not had like an epic love story or even just been chosen and loved, and that I had someone to love and like, go through life within a unique way. Like I literally woke up this morning, I kid you not and I was like, oh my God, so many people love me, I'm so supported, so many people want me to have good things in life and to be happy and healthy. I have so many people that have my back, which is incredible, and I literally woke up in all this gratitude. It sounds so cheesy. And then I sang and the birds helped me get ready. No, but like they did and like yeah.
Speaker 2:I put my robe on and everything Indiana was like what is happening? I want to kill all of these things. Uh, this took a turn. But no, I am. I am so loved and and I am. My friend reminds me always because, like, being chosen is a big healing component for me, coming from abandonment stuff and my core wounding and whatever like um. So he always reminds me like these people have chosen you in their life, jace, like your friends and and everything that give you their time, because he knows time is my love language. Um, he's like they chose you and yet of a long track record, in a romantic sense, of not being chosen. And I, I've got time, don't worry, I don't need a pep talk or anything, but like real talk. If I died today I would be sad that I didn't have like a beloved.
Speaker 1:Oh, I know that person won't come. It's one of those things and this will be the last thing that we have to say on today's podcast. But like I didn't know that, the day that I walked into that bar, or no, into that little house on monroe and all of a sudden, like my dude walked in with a big ass pimple on his nose, I didn't know that I would find the one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you'll never, know, you'll never, you'll never, never know. It's just one. It's like back to the episode that we talked about a second ago about the weather. You know the weather is predictable, but it's not, and when you least expect it, the first one will come. I think so valuable lesson in the question of if your life was to end tomorrow, how do you know if you lived a good life? So I'm I want to throw it. Add it to the comments.
Speaker 2:Yeah, add it to the comments. How will know if you lived a good life? So I'm I want to throw it. Add it to the comments. Yeah, add it to the comments. We'd love to hear it. How will you know you lived a good life?
Speaker 1:Great, I would greatly appreciate comments, messages, emails, skywriting, skywriting. That's what I was thinking of, pigeon Sunday.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, yeah, chili and mushrooms.
Speaker 1:Thanks again for joining us on Story Success and Stuff. This is Jace. I'm Crystal. Don't forget to subscribe to us on your favorite podcast channel, watch us on YouTube and follow us at sierzacom. Thanks again, we'll see you soon.
